


Stay Alive

by DChan87



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Character Development, F/M, Gen, Hamilton References, Hurt/Comfort, I want Keith back on the team yesterday, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Kuron is Shiro (Voltron)'s Clone, Post-Season/Series 04, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Season/Series 05, i'm afraid he'll either be shunted to the side or die before his arc is over, kallurangst, kangst, not sure where I'm going with this yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-01-27 18:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DChan87/pseuds/DChan87
Summary: Keith imagined death so much it felt like a memory. But after surviving that near-death attempted kamikaze mission to save Voltron at the Battle of Naxzela, he unknowingly gets a new lease on life. Now the Voltron team and coalition must move forward. And also now that they have a new "Ally", the nature of the conflict changes, as does Keith's relationship with the team and Allura.Basically what I want to see from Season 5 and going forward.





	1. Chapter 1

The fireball that engulfed what had once been a Galra ship died down, returning space to its natural darkness. A lone Galra fighter floated amongst the blackness, circling the diminishing fireball. Ironic, considering that the lone fighter had almost become a fireball itself, nearly crashing into the particle barrier protecting a gun firing on the planet Naxzela's surface. And its pilot had yet to realize just how quickly he'd escaped death.

Keith Kogane, the part-Galra former Voltron Paladin, sat back in the fighter's seat, letting out a long, drawn-out sigh. Letting instinct take over, he maneuvered the fighter out of the fireball's way, watching it dissipate. His heart rate, which had been racing faster than a hover racer, was also coming down. He took his sweaty palms off the controls.

Just moments earlier he was the one almost flown the fighter into a particle barrier to save Voltron, the rebels and everything within 10 systems from utter annihilation. Naxzela was a trap set by the Galra, an entire planet turned into a bomb just to destroy a single giant robot. A giant robot made up of five robotic lions, five pilots and that had become a symbol of hope for a universe desperate to escape 10,000 years of tyranny. He had been one of the pilots, until he embraced his Galra heritage to join the Blade of Marmora to bring the Galra Empire down.

But that wasn't his concern right now. Right now, he wondered what had just happened, until he realized that someone had just saved him from certain death. He looked up and saw a familiar ship heading in his direction.

 _It can't be_ , he thought to himself.

Prince Lotor of the Galra Empire; the object of his months-long chase that forced him to join the Blade of Marmora on a full-time basis.

 _This can't be good_ , he thought to himself again.

"Great work, Keith!" He heard the voice of his long-time mentor and brother figure, Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane coming through the fighter's comm.

"It wasn't me," he replied. "It was Lotor."

Right on cue, the Galra prince's voice could be heard on their comm channels. " _Attention Paladins of Voltron and the Rebel Fighters; I know we've had our differences in the past, but... I think it is time we had a discussion_."

" _We accept your offer to talk,_ " Shiro answered. " _Meet us back at the Castle of Lions. Voltron out._ " Keith heard the comm clock.

" _You should come back too, Keith,"_ said Coran. " _They'll want to talk to you._ "

"Sure, Coran," Keith answered. "Keith out." He heard the comm click.

Then he remembered that he'd come close to dying. But why didn't it effect him?

He imagined death so much it felt like a memory. When was it going to get him? In his sleep seven feet ahead of him? On his feet with the enemy ahead of him? Would he let it come to him or would he fight back? Death surrounded him in the Blade of Marmora. No one was expendable, but the cause mattered more to the organization than the life of the individual; the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. Anyone could, would and did die to complete the mission. He saw this first-hand very often. Even before then, he came close to dying with Voltron, and before that, often had vivid dreams about death and dying. That's why he steeled himself before crashing his fighter into the particular barrier. So long as he saved his friends, he could have done something.

But now…

He wiped his face and gripped the fighter's controls again. He had to rendezvous at the Castle of Lions, even if he wasn't looking forward to it.

But after he'd switched his comm off, Coran had made another call to someone else in Voltron.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Allura was scared. Not for herself, but after Keith landed his Galra fighter on the castle and Coran informed her about his attempted sacrifice, something snapped inside her.

But it was still a surprise to everyone else when they saw her racing out of the Blue Lion the moment they landed back on the castle. Obviously they called her name, and they were also obviously confused and shocked to see her running like this. This didn't concern her at all. A single thought kept repeating inside her head,  _Keith!_

She found him in another hangar. Although she didn't see him well, she could tell by his form's body language that something was seriously wrong. She'd already watched the video diary he left, where he confessed to his many faults, insecurities, and possibly something even worse.  _How could I be so_ _stupid_ _?!_  She thought to herself.  _Please let him be okay!_

But  _how_ could he do this?  _Why_  would he do it?! That thought came to her quickly, and quickly morphed into something else.  _That quiznaking fool! Why would he do such a selfish thing?!_  Her fear for him quickly turned into anger at him. She clenched her fist and teeth.  _I'll show him!_

He was still lost in his thoughts when he heard rapid footsteps approaching him. He looked up, saw Allura and his eyes widened. "Allura?" he seemingly asked himself. But he was so deep in confusion that he didn't register her raising her fist in the air. And so he couldn't defend himself when she socked him across his left cheek. She actually didn't hit him very hard, but he fell on his backside, anyway.

"YOU QUIZNAKING FOOL!" she screamed. She was red in the face as she knelt and grabbed his collar. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE LIKE THAT?! WHY WOULD YOU THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY?!"

Her rage had begun to subside, turning into anguish as her voice changed and her expression changed to match it. Tears welled up in her eyes and quickly flowed like a river. Again, he watched in astonishment at how she loudly cried, and saw that she was unable to form coherent sentences in her anguished, blubbering mess.

He felt rather ashamed now. He knew he'd done something to upset her, and the guilt made him want to get away from her. But she was on top of him. He couldn't escape. He did look away from her though, and he heard her gasp.

"Thanks," he said.

"PLEASE don't go again!" she sobbed. "I swear I'm not trying to confuse you. I want what's best for you, it's just, it's just—it felt like you turned your back on us after everything we've been through! What was the point!? You gained a new family that loves you, and tried to throw it all away! Keith, we love you!

"I know I can't force you to stay with us, but PLEASE, leave the Blade! You don't belong with them, you belong with us! I'm begging you!"

She couldn't stop herself from crying out loud.

"Why are you crying like that?" he asked.

"Shut up and let me cry," she said.

Her sobbing died down after what seemed or felt like an hour, until she felt like her tear ducts were dry. Allura helped him to his feet, and they tightly hugged each other. It was much-needed human… Altean?... contact after a harsh battle, and for Keith, after his time with the Blade.

After?

They broke apart. Keith momentarily motioned to the Galra fighter, and Allura felt the tightness in her chest return. Her own tears started to well up. But she put on a brave face. "You should be getting back to the Blade," she said.

To her surprise, after her put his hand on the fighter, he shook his head. "I don't know," he said.

"Take your time," she said. "I don't want to force you to stay or leave.

"In the meantime, we should go see what Lotor has up his sleeve."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

The castle's brightness was alien to Keith, for lack of a better term. He found himself squinting while walking down the corridors and averting them to the floor. He even kept rubbing his eyes and trying to focus, but had little luck in it. He quickly recognized that he wasn't used to such brightness. The Blade was literally dark; everything was in black, purple or grey, even the ships, to the extent that he must've gotten far too used to them.

Allura must have recognized he wasn't feeling alright, when she stopped in her tracks. "Are you alright?" she asked, confirming his suspicions.

"It's the light," he chuckled. "I guess I became a mole or something."

"A mole? What's that?"

"… Nevermind."

"If you need me to dim the lights, I can," she said quickly. "I mean, I-I-I don't want to hurt your eyes, or—"

"Allura, I'm fine," he said, gazing up at her and softly smiling. "I just need to get used to the light again."

Allura smiled at him and firmly held his hand. He seemed to appreciate it at first, but that quickly changed when he blushed at her and turned away. She did the same thing. Both their hearts were already pounding from the emotional climax just minutes earlier, and their collective embarrassment made it feel worse.

"That's an… interesting look for you," Allura said, hoping to break the tension.

Keith looked down at himself, still dressed in his Blade of Marmora outfit. He clearly wanted to smile at her compliment, but all he could do was force one. And he couldn't force it for very long, and Allura noticed, too.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just happy to see you again."

"At least I didn't have to do that stupid Voltron Show," he said.

"Well, then I envy you," she answered.

"It was fun watching Lance make a fool out of himself," Keith said. "Was all that everyone's idea?"

"Actually, you're not going to believe this," said Allura, "But Coran was infected by a brain worm that made him act all strange."

"Strange?"

"He'd be like, 'HEEEEYYYYY, SHIRO, BAYBY!'" she said, doing her best crazy Coran imitation. "Like, 'you're Shiro the herooooo! And Allura, you're Keith, baby!' I had to pretend to be you."

"Yeah, I saw," Keith replied, trying not to laugh. "You did okay."

"Thanks," she said. "But to be honest, I hope I never have to do that stupid show again." Just thinking about it made her visibly cringe. He laughed again.

She turned, smiled and him and hugged him again. He returned the latter gesture. "It's such a relief to have you back."

"Yeah, I guess," he said.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked him, hugging him tighter. "I can get you something if you need it."

"I'm fine," he said.

She didn't believe it. That kind of emotional stress would affect anyone. It didn't sound like strength nor weakness that he wouldn't admit he was scared. Of course, the full realization might not have hit him just yet. She did hope that the punch and yelling would bring him back to his senses. Maybe he just needed more time to figure it out for himself.

"I need to get dressed," she said after breaking the hug off. "We still need to find out what Lotor is up to. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm  _fine_ ," he insisted. "Just… make it quick. I should probably be getting back to the Blade soon."

She sighed, sadly. "Alright. It's just that… we still miss you. It wouldn't hurt to say 'hello' to everyone, you know. I'll see you back at the bridge." She laid her hand on his still-swollen cheek before walking away.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith could feel the tension the moment he returned to the Castle's bridge, because he knew, in part, that Lotor was up to something. He didn't just waste some time with the Blade of Marmora, only to almost die in the process, to not know something. He'd chased this quiznaker for months and almost died for this?

Something was up.

No one noticed him re-enter the bridge. They were all focused on Lotor, sitting in the middle of everything, literally—the bridge, the crowd, and all the attention. None of the attention sounded like it was happy, though. He could hear them all making accusations, voicing their concerns and making guarded comments of support from his spot closer to the door than the center, but still within earshot. He wasn't sure if he was ready to announce his return yet; he didn't know how they'd react to his suicide attempt. And he could still feel the chest tightness of nervousness that struck him a lot.

Kolivan was there. And so was Matt. But he saw his friends, Shiro, Pidge, Hunk and Lance all crowded around Lotor, with their backs to the bridge entrance. Lance had tried to squeeze up front, and shut Pidge out, forcing her to try to climb up on Hunk's shoulders like a little kid on their dad's. Or, maybe just like a short person climbing on top of a bigger person. And of course, Shiro stood aside, his arms quite visibly crossed even from Keith's angle.

He thought Lance was being an idiot, and Pidge a bit silly. Then told himself that this may have been part of why he drove his teammates off in the first place.

And how would they react when they found out about his attempted sacrifice?

He'd have to find that all out later.

He involuntarily shuddered, but kept his cool.

He looked to his right. Allura wasn't there. He got nervous, but then he remembered that she'd gone to her quarters to change out of her Paladin armor and into either her dress or her space suit. He understood perfectly.

In the meantime, we was going to give his suit's cloaking device another use. He wasn't sure if he was ready to talk to them yet.

He could hear Pidge talking about something. So he snuck in close.

"Do you honestly think we'd believe you?" She was asking.

"To be honest, no," Lotor answered. His hands were bound behind his back with Altean handcuffs and surrounded by a particle barrier. "I suppose not after trying to kill you."

"Of course we won't!" Lance added. "What're you planning?! Spill it!"

"Guys, calm down,"said Shiro. "He's not going anywhere. We've got plenty of time."

"Oh, I doubt that," said Lotor, "Not after I tell you everything."

"I don't like how ominous that sounds," said Hunk. "You've been watching too many Marvel movies, dude."

"What is a 'Marvel Movie'?" Lotor asked, his sheer slipping into genuine confusion.

"Hunk,  _why_ did you think he'd get that reference?" Pidge asked disapprovingly.

"It was the only thing that came to my head!" Hunk seemed to plead. Pidge sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss everything," said Lotor. "By the way, where is 'Keith', or should I say, 'not-Keith'?"

Right on cue, the door opened and Princess Allura, clad in her regular flight/battle suit—not Paladin armor—strolled in, accidentally bumping into Keith. He immediately forgave her because she couldn't see him. But he watched her with awe in his eyes as she walked right up to Lotor.

"Alright, who's this quiznaker who thinks he can come aboard  _my_ ship?!" she huffed.

Lotor looked up and was immediately struck by her beauty, his eyes widening, and smiling. "Princess Allura," he said. "I must say, you are as alluring as your name suggests."

"Shut up," she spat.

"I must say, I enjoyed your performance as 'Keith'," Lotor said before looking around. "By the way, where is he?"

"I'll be asking the questions here," she interrupted. "And where he is now is none of your quiznaking concern."

 _Does he know it was me?_  Keith thought to himself.

"First question; what do you want? Besides some alliance?"

"I already told you," Lotor answered. "And my intentions are pure."

Allura visibly doubted him. Keith didn't blame her. "Answer the quiznaking question!" she shouted.

"Jeeez, calm down, Allura!" Lance added.

"Are you sure you want to discuss it now?" Lotor asked.

"You came to us," Allura replied. "Something's chasing you. I can tell. Why would you come to us?"

"Why would I not?" he asked, making her visibly irritated (Pidge could've sworn she saw an anime-like pair of cross veins pop up on Allura's forehead). "Voltron, the Legendary Defender of the Universe, the stars of the Voltron show. I just had to see if the hype was real."

"Is he insulting us?" Lance whispered to Hunk.

"What do you think?" Pidge asked.

"No insult intended," Lotor chuckled. The three other Paladins didn't believe him.

"What? Are? You? Planning?" Allura repeated through gritted teeth, glaring at him enough to burn a hole through his forehead.

Lotor must have known his game had gone on long enough. He sighed, and his expression changed from jovial to serious.

"I have discovered the ruins of planet Daibazaal," he said.

"You mean where Zarkon's from?" Lance asked.

"The ancestral homeworld of the Galra," Lotor answered.

"… I knew that."

Pidge rolled her eyes.

"TALK." Allura ordered.

"There is unlimited quintessence in the space between realities," said Lotor. "We were trying to harvest it."

Keith's jaw nearly dropped. He cursed himself for not getting close enough to Lotor in time to figure it out. THAT was what he was after!? He just wasted so much time chasing him around the universe just for him to spill the beans right here and now, and in front of Kolivan!?

"Why did you come to tell us?" Allura asked.

"My generals betrayed me, presumably so they could save their own lives," said Lotor. "I suppose I cannot blame them, after I killed one of them."

"Yyyeah, I don't know if I can trust him," said Pidge.

"Coran, how far is Daibazaal from here?" Allura asked.

Coran had already pulled up a large enough map of their space sector. He shook his head. "Too far," he said, "At least not with our current supplies."

"So we have to return to Olkari," Allura groaned. "Keep him in the brig."

"You should be thanking me,"said Lotor. "I just saved your lives and possibly more."

"Then thank you for saving us," Allura answered. "But for now, we still cannot trust you as much as we want."

Lotor took in a deep breath and sighed. "I cannot blame you. But I would rather be treated more fairly-"

"Just go," Allura interrupted. She gestured to the remaining Paladins. Hunk helped Pidge down from his shoulders before deactivating the particle barrier surrounding Lotor so he could take Lotor away. The other Paladins followed him, and walked right past the still-invisible Keith. He wanted to make himself visible again, reach out and get their attention, but he held himself back. He watched them all leave, taking Lotor and other rebels with them. Then the doors closed. It was not just him, Allura, Coran, Matt and Kolivan.

Wait, what?

"Come out, Keith, I know you're there," Allura called. "I bumped into something, and I'm sure it wasn't one of the mice."

Right on cue, Keith re-appeared in front of everyone else, hanging his head and avoiding eye contact with the others.

"You're not in trouble, Keith," said Coran. "But we just need to talk."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

So how was this first chapter?

This past VLD season shook me to the core, mainly because of Keith's actions. And because I really, really like Keith, and don't want him to leave the show or Voltron team (I know that it's probably not going to happen, but I just needed to share this concern).

This fic is piggybacking off a previous one-shot I did, but that one was a one-shot. This is obviously not. This is just how I'd like Season 5 to go, or something like that. I don't know for certain what will happen, since there hasn't been a release date yet. I'm fairly sure Keith's story isn't over and he'll be back with the team and eventually leading Voltron like he's destined to, instead of staying in the Blade of Marmora, where he doesn't belong at all. In the meantime, I thought I'd write this fic just in case something goes wrong.

Just let me know what you think about this!

 


	2. That would be enough

Shiro accompanied Lance, Hunk and Pidge to the castle brig to confine Lotor, keeping his usual serious expression the whole time. But because he led the Garrison Trio, he didn't look back on occasion to see that Lance was glaring at him the whole time. It was no secret that Lance idolized Shiro from his days at the Galaxy Garrison. Of course he mentioned that Shiro was his hero at the beginning, but Lance usually went with Shiro most of the time. His preference for Shiro was why he wanted Shiro back in the Black Lion instead of Keith.

But now, as he glared and grit his teeth, Pidge and Hunk could visibly see that Lance was furious. Even the way he grabbed Lotor's arm like a vice grip indicated something was wrong. Pidge and Hunk looked at each other and shrugged. Neither had any real idea why Lance was angry, just that he'd been acting this way ever since they escaped Naxzela.

Maybe it was because they just barely escaped certain death by the skin of their teeth?

Whatever it was would have to wait for a while. Lotor took priority. The team didn't know the circumstances of how he came to them, just that he came to them. It made him dangerous in this very way, forcing them to grip him tightly and keep a weapon trained on him. They were not going to underestimate him.

But, his grin not only unnerved them, it visibly unnerved them. They were already losing whatever game they might be playing just by letting him get into their heads, under their skin or whatever you want to say. Only Shiro, the consummate professional, showed no emotion as they walked. He would not be swayed. The trio admired him.

But now, Lance was glaring at Shiro. He also kept hoping that Shiro wouldn't turn around to see his glare. Or maybe he did hope Shiro would turn around. He hoped that no one would blame him for his anger, but if he wanted to share it, he would have to wait for it. Although it often felt like he was simply waiting for something all the time, like a girl to finally return his flirting. That would take time, of course. And girls weren't an intergalactic war.

But he still looked and felt like he was going to burst at any moment, a fact that Pidge and Hunk could see and feared. They knew Lance. He was usually laid-back, or chasing after the nearest girl. Where had this super-serious Lance come from? Not that it was a bad thing, it's just that they weren't used to this brand new concept. Lance? Silently stewing in his juices? This was serious. And it only took a second to look from Lance's gaze to see whom his target of derision was. They'd expected Lotor, but Shiro? This seemed almost out-of-character to them.

Or maybe Lance could be like this all the time, and they didn't know about it. It's not like he took anything seriously at the Garrison. But this wasn't the Garrison, this was Voltron.

It had been their first real taste of action after weeks of putting on a stupid stage show to help build the Coalition, but maybe it wasn't necessary. Well, to be fair, Coran had been infected by a brain parasite turning him into a regular PT Barnum. Then, the coalition had the opportunity to attack Naxzela, which had been one of the last Galra strongholds in this sector. But throwing all their eggs in one basket only to fall for such an obvious trap was a very risky gamble, and they'd just managed to snatch a stalemate from the jaws of defeat.

And Lance blamed Shiro.

"I take it you don't like me," Lotor joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Lotor, you disgust me," said Pidge.

"Ah, so you have discussed me," Lotor quipped.

"We just did!" Lance answered.

"Before, of course," said Lotor. "I supposed you will need to earn my trust?"

"Knock it off," Shiro interrupted. "Stop asking questions. You're our prisoner, so act like it."

"Apologies," said Lotor. "I am and will remain your obedient servant."

Lance did not like his response.

The brig wasn't like the cryo-pods they'd used to imprison Sendak after his capture, but he'd been too dangerous for them to keep in the regular brig. Even so, their obvious mistrust made them wish they could put him to sleep in a cryo-pod to keep him from talking. They nudged Lotor into one of the cells, Shiro pressed a few buttons on the keypad and another particle barrier went up, separating Lotor from them.

"You'll be served regular meals," said Shiro. "We also have a cow onboard, so you can have a milkshake in exchange for your cooperation."

Lotor nodded his head. "I appreciate the hospitality," he said. He looked to see Lance, Pidge and Hunk glaring at him.

"Don't play with us," Shiro said before turning away to leave, the previously-mentioned trio following him.

They soon split up. Shiro went back to the bridge, while Lance, Pidge and Hunk went in a different direction. But Lance didn't tell the other two where he was going, and they just had to wait for him to talk.

Luckily for Hunk, they ended up in the kitchen.

"Time for some food!" he declared.

"Not now, Hunk!" Lance shouted.

Pidge and Hunk froze in their tracks. They'd been about to make some green goo. "Uuuhhhh, what are you talking about?" Pidge asked.

"Are you kidding!?" Lance gasped. "We just survived certain death!"

"Uh, yeah," said Hunk.

"But we shouldn't have been in this spot in the first place!" Lance declared, gesticulating wildly.

"What are you talking about?" Pidge asked.

"It's Shiro!" Lance said. "Shiro got us into this mess!"

Hunk and Pidge simultaneously gasped and almost dropped the plates they'd gotten.

"I'm serious!" Lance continued. "We should've gotten out of there when we realized it was a trap!"

"Are you saying Shiro's a bad leader!?" Hunk asked.

"What? No, that's not—" he stopped and gathered his thoughts. "Have you noticed that Shiro's been acting a bit… off, lately?"

"Must be the haircut," said Hunk. "One time, my brother let his hair grow really long, and when he cut it, he looked totally different and I couldn't tell it was him—"

"No, nonononono!" Lance interrupted. "That's not what I meant!"

"What are you saying, Lance?" Pidge asked.

"Remember how we thought Shiro might be compromised?" Lance asked. "What if he is?"

"Lance, you can't—you can't just say that!" said Hunk.

"I just did!"

"But not without evidence!" said Pidge.

"The old Shiro listened to us," said Lance. "We told this Shiro that we should leave, and he kept us on the planet! Man, even Keith would've gotten us outta there!"

"Lance, I know you're stressed," said Hunk, "But you need to calm down."

"Calm? I'M COMPLETELY CALM!" he shouted, his eyes bugging out. Hunk and Pidge sheepishly looked at each other.

"Um, okay, maybe we should take a break," said Hunk.

"Guys, you're not listening!" Lance sighed. "Something's wrong! Why did we throw everything we had at Naxzela? It's like Return of the Jedi! It was such an obvious trap!"

"But we won!" Hunk disagreed.

"We snatched a stalemate from the jaws of defeat!" Lance answered. "Okay, this was like, our first full-scale attack after outrunning, outlasting, hitting them quick and fast. But still! They wiped out part of our fleet!"

"Okay," said Hunk. "What are you saying?"

"Someone implanted… something… inside Shiro and set us up!" Lance answered.

"Do you have any proof?" Pidge asked.

"No! And that's the problem! I don't know what to do!"

"If you're gonna say we should mutiny, I don't want to," said Hunk.

"We may have to," said Lance. "Honestly, I already said this, but I miss Keith. He actually listened to us."

"But what are we gonna do until then?" Pidge asked. "He probably went back to the Blade of Marmora."

"I dunno," Lance sighed as he leaned against a counter. "I think I'll do a video diary about the battle and compare it to tape."

"Can I help?" Pidge asked.

"Yeah, sure, sounds good," Lance answered. "Just… do your thing without me so it won't look like we corroborated."

"You just told us what you think happened," said Hunk.

"Yeah, well, forget what I said!" Lance answered. "And don't tell Shiro about what happened here!"

"Alright, alright!" Hunk said, gesticulating wildly. Then he picked up a green goo nozzle. "Now are you gonna eat with us or not?"

Lance stared at him for a couple of seconds, then took a deep breath and sighed. "Sure," he said. But as he helped himself to the stuff, he couldn't stop thinking, not just about Shiro, but about their entire mission. He knew that the nature of the conflict had changed. This wasn't just some grand adventure.

This was war.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith could still feel the tension in the room, although that's really because it hadn't left at all. Now it and everyone's eyes were focused on him. He wanted to turn invisible and slip away again, but that wouldn't work, what with him being right in front of them. He wouldn't get out the door before Kolivan or someone else stopped him in his tracks. He was trapped, and he never liked being trapped in the eye of the hurricane, although the quiet didn't ease his nervousness a bit. It only made it worse.

Coran probably didn't intend for it to be like an awkward discussion between parents and a teenager, but that's exactly how Keith felt. If his father was still around, it would be very similar to meeting the principal after getting into trouble in school. Too many kids made fun of him, and he sometimes felt the need to lash out. "Keith the emo!"

"Sorry if you're uncomfortable, Keith,"said Coran. "But that was a brave thing you did."

Keith sighed a little. "Thanks," he said. "I had to do it."

He didn't need Coran telling him that, since he already surmised that he understood where he was coming from. Allura already didn't like what he did, and Matt warned him against it. As for Kolivan, he wasn't sure. The BoM leader would likely say the same thing he always said, which was that the mission was more important than the individual.

"I agree," said Kolivan. "You have learned a great deal from us."

"You don't sound pleased," said Keith.

"I took great pleasure in watching how you grew, Keith," said Kolivan. "But there were also things I did not like. As much as I appreciated your dedication and effort, I cannot deny that your thoughts were somewhere else."

"What?" Keith asked.

"You heard what I said."

"Kolivan, what are you talking about?!" Keith almost spat.

"Just because you are willing to sacrifice yourself for a greater cause, does not mean what attempted was smart," said the larger Galra. "In fact, it was reckless, and possibly meaningless."

"I had to do it!" Keith spat back, Allura holding him back. "We were about to die in a big bomb explosion! What was I supposed to do!?"

"I never said it was the wrong thing," said Kolivan.

"Then why—"

"I fear for your safety, young one," he said.

"You're the ones who instilled this 'victory or death' nonsense in him!" Allura shouted.

"We did no such thing," Kolivan interjected. "He had that all along."

"Then you made it worse!"

"Allura, please, stop!" Keith begged, his voice softening.

"Your dedication to your friends is your greatest quality," said Kolivan. "But had you gone through with your hasty plan, you not only would have died, but died in vain. If your guns could not break the particle barrier, then your small fighter would not have done anything."

"And what did you expect me to do!?" Keith shouted. "Done nothing!?"

"In the end, Lotor was the one who saved your life," said Kolivan.

"What's your point?!"

"I have a suggestion," said Kolivan. "Since you joined us to find Lotor, I suggest that you stay at the Castle so that you may monitor his actions. If not, I expect you back with the Blade as soon as possible."

"Are you sure you're alright, Keith?" Coran asked. "You just went through a harrowing experience. You should take a break first."

"I said I'm fine!" Keith shouted back, still not turning around. "I need to get back to the Blade!"

"Keith!" Coran called again. To no avail. Keith walked out the door without acknowledging Coran.

Allura stepped up next to Coran and turned to look at him. His gaze met hers, and a silent conversation passed between then. Then Allura nodded and ran off, chasing Keith out the door. Coran stood watch and then turned back to the control panel to set a course back to Olkari.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"KEITH!" she called out, walking fast to chase him, finally catching up to him after a short chase. "After all this!? With Lotor right where we want him? You spent all that time chasing him and now he's here!"

"I can't—I can't stay!" he said. He tried to turn so she couldn't look at him.

"If you're scared, I don't blame you," she said. "But you've got to stop running away from your fears!"

"I said I can't stay!" Keith huffed.

"And what happens if you leave?!" Allura asked again. "You've grown so much. You've opened up to everyone, you gained a family, and you're becoming a great leader."

"I said I don't want a lecture!" he roared, spinning around to yell at her, and then turned back around. She easily caught up to him and blocked his path. "Get out of my way!"

"NO." she declared. "We need you, Keith. At least listen to me. Are you going to throw everything you've built away just to be a faceless cog?!"

"At least I was doing something instead of making myself look like an idiot!"

Allura grimaced. She had no response to that, and didn't like it.

"You practically abandoned us!" she shouted, trying to find something to latch on to. "AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH!?"

"Keith," she said softly. She got off of him. He helped her up. He could have ran right here, but he didn't. He wasn't sure why.

"Allura, I—I had to do it! There was no other choice—"

"Don't you dare say that!" she scolded, hitting his chest. "There's always something we can do!"

"I couldn't shoot that shield! I was lucky that Lotor got there!"

"And you think a suicide mission would have done it?!"

"Allura—"

"What have they done to you?!"

"What—Allura, what are you talking about?" he asked.

"Keith," she said softly, bringing his eyes to hers. "I know you're not playing dumb. But you're also not being very smart right now.

"Wait, you don't think—"

"Of course I know they didn't torture you," she cut him off. "Why would they? I was talking to myself, in a way. I'm concerned for you. Why did you think throwing your life away would be the answer?"

"I wasn't throwing my life away!" he snapped. "The mission takes priority—"

"Ah," she said. "That's why. Now Ulaz's sacrifice makes sense."

"Allura, what are you talking about?"

"I think you should leave the Blade of Marmora," she answered.

Keith quite clearly visibly couldn't believe what she was saying. "Allura—during a mission!?"

"You heard what happened out there," she said. "We don't need to catch Lotor now."

"You don't understand," he replied. "We have a new form of quintessence that we can—the Blade needs me!"

"And look what that did!" she snapped. "And what happens after that!? How do you think any of us would feel!? What about Shiro?!"

Keith looked about to retort, but when his eyes widened, she knew she hit something. Shiro was his hero. And he understood the most why he left to join the Blade. Allura didn't like it at all. In fact, she may have missed him the most for the past several months, which she wasn't sure why. No, actually she was sure, because he was the best pilot out of all of them, and had great potential as the Black Paladin in red armor, even if he didn't see it that way—

She remembered something important.

"You're better than you think you are," she said. She knew he was going to ask where she was going with this. To be honest,

"Where are you going with this?" he asked.

"I'm not sure myself," she chuckled. She touched his cheek. It had started to swell a little bit and her touch made him shrink from him. "That's how you feel all the time, isn't it?"

"How would you know?"

"I saw your video diary."

Keith obviously didn't know how to respond, as several emotions crossed his face simultaneously, in about a second. So she stood back and waited for him to finish his face journey, and he found his reaction.

"I didn't… I didn't want anyone to see it," he said.

"I stumbled across it," she replied.

"I don't know," he said. "You probably think I'm selfish."

"Honestly, with how you left us like that? When we needed you? Of course I thought you were being selfish! But, I believe you felt you were doing the right thing. But again, I can't help but feel you were being selfish when you were about to commit suicide because you feel lonely?

"The Blade is not where you belong, Keith," she continued. "It's with us. We're your family. We need you. I need you!"

"Now who's the selfish one!?" he snapped.

"You think I haven't missed you!?" she snapped back. "I spent too many nights lying awake in bed thinking about you, wondering if you were alright, while we were trying to save the universe and you were off gallivanting with people who care nothing for your well-being!?"

"You don't know that!"

"You were about to kill yourself! You said it yourself, too, the mission is more important than the person!"

"I needed to do this!"

"And look where it got you!"

"You don't know what I've been through!"

"You're not the only one who's lost loved ones!"

"I can't do this anymore," he said, re-donning his hood. "I have to meet back up with the Blade." He turned to leave. She blocked his way. "Get out of the way!"

"PLEASE don't go again!" she sobbed. "I swear I'm not trying to confuse you. I want what's best for you, it's just, it's just—it felt like you turned your back on us after everything we've been through! What was the point!? You gained a new family that loves you, and tried to throw it all away! Keith, we love you!

"I know I can't force you to stay with us, but PLEASE, leave the Blade! You don't belong with them, you belong with us! I'm begging you!"

"Allura!" he said. "This is my choice!"

"And I'm asking you to stay!" she answered. "Even Kolivan thinks you should stay with us! He knows what he's talking about!"

"I have to," he said. "The mission takes priority. Victory or death, knowledge or death—"

He stopped, looking off at nothing in the distance. Allura was visibly impatient in waiting for him to continue, but he was frozen in place. That's because the full realization of what just happened had finally hit him like a sledgehammer.

He almost fuckin' died.

That realization finally hit him like a slow-moving car crash he didn't see coming. His whole body reacted to it. His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy. He felt like he had to vomit all over his suit. His heart started racing at a million miles an hour, and his vision blurred. He stumbled and tried to regain his footing, but had to brace himself against the walls. He could hear Allura screaming his name, but the way she sounded to him was like he was in a swimming pool. His legs felt heavy, and he collapsed to the floor. He made several retching noises. He felt Allura grabbing his arms and gently jostling him.

"Keith! Are you alright!?"

He tried to answer, but he could only sputter a few sounds that made it sound like he needed to vomit.

"Keith! Stay with me! Stay with me!"

He kept sputtering while his face turned pale and he broke out in a sweat. "I—I just—I—oh, god!"

"Keith, what!?" Allura begged. "Keith!"

"I'm alive! I'm alive!"

Now she realized just what was going on. "You almost died," she said quietly.

"I said I wouldn't cry! I said I wouldn't cry!" he chanted. From the look of it though, he was about to burst with emotions. Allura comfortingly put her arms around him and pulled him into her lap. She didn't smile. But she remained serious, for him.

"If you want to cry, you have my permission, soldier," she said.

And so he did.

He didn't remember the last time he cried as hard as he did. It may had been a long time ago, or even recently. But it was loud, and lasted for a while. It helped that Allura made it easy for him to cry on her shoulder and provide a calm, soothing presence for him. It was a relief.

"I'm sorry for punching you," she said gently. "I got emotional. I was worried about you. I guess I let it get the best of me." He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. "And I'm so, so, sorry for everything else. I'll make sure the rest of the team knows about your struggles."

He didn't answer verbally. He just nodded his head, although he did make a sound that resembled an "uh-huh". But that was it. Instead, he let Allura soothe him until he calmed down.

"I hope I don't become your magical healing fairy," she quietly quipped. "Unless you can do the same thing for me some time. But please, stay alive. That would be enough."

"Okay," he sniffed.

"What do you want to do now?" she asked. "Do you want to stay? Or would you rather return to the Blade?"

"I'll stay for now," he said. It wasn't her first choice. But it would have to do for now.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

So how was it?

The scene where Allura comforts Keith was kind of supposed to be in chapter 1, although that was in the original one-shot. Some of the dialogue was lifted from that one-shot.

As for Lance, I like him, but his character development is a bit lacking, and since we have an idea of the role he's supposed to play coming up, I thought I'd start that off. I fully intend to flesh him out just as much as Keith. Since Keith does need a strong right-hand man, Lance will be that right-hand man.

And, as another reader correctly reduced in an FF-dot-net review, there are a few references to the play "Hamilton". For today, let's play "can you spot the Hamilton references?"

Please, let me know how I did!


	3. Meet Him Inside

Allura led Keith back to his old room immediately afterwards. She was eager to help him, even going so far as to tease him about forgetting where his room was. He wanted to laugh aloud, but couldn't. He was still very tired from the battle and his subsequent crying fit. The fact that he let Allura get so close to him like that, after he'd tried to distance himself from everyone. Even now he was worried he was getting to close to everyone. But she knew about his confessions anyway, and she would try to assuage his fears no matter what he tried.

Pushing people away always seemed to be the logical or right thing to do. He'd suffered enough loss, from people who'd abandoned him, over his entire life, to get too close to anyone, aside from Shiro. What was to stop Allura from rejecting him? The Galra could do something even worse and cause her to remember that she hated them so much that she'd reject  _him_  in turn. He didn't feel like he could win with this team.

Team…

Anyway, he hated when people thought he was a loner. The correct term is "solitary", but if the description fit him, then it was good enough for him. It was better than someone just up and leaving him. That's why he moved into that stupid shack to be alone—solitary—after Shiro disappeared and the Garrison booted him out. He could live on his own. He knew he could. He wanted to be alone.

"Keith?"

He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice that he'd stopped in his tracks. So he was still surprised when Allura called his name.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked.

"I think so," he said.

They finally made it to Keith's old room. Allura stopped outside the door and waited for Keith to step inside. He didn't take very long to look around. It was still as empty as when he'd left, but now he felt the internal pang of regret, making him clutch his chest. "Are you sure you're alright?" Allura asked again.

"I think so," he repeated.

Allura didn't like his response. "You have to come up with a better response," she told him. "And maybe you should stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"That's not it," said Keith. "I just... don't like being here right now. What if everyone—"

"Everyone will be happy to see you," she interrupted. "We missed you." Her disapproving expression changed into a soft, warm smile. "I'm sure Shiro will be the happiest to see you."

That worked and Keith smiled. Shiro was Keith's real emotional anchor, Allura knew. "Go see them now," she said.

He shook his head. "I'm not ready yet."

"You can't keep running away," she told him. "You know as well as I do that they will also be an—oh, that's why." She sighed. She couldn't fix the universe in a few short months. What chance did she have to fix a human's issues? It was better if she just left well alone for the time being. Keith's issues weren't going to go away after a crying session and a hug from a woman. Allura already knew that, and she looked at him like she didn't want to be some kind of emotional crutch for him. That wasn't her job. She had more important things to worry about—freeing the universe from Zarkon's tyranny. As she said, she wasn't some magical healing fairy.

"Thanks," he said. "But I'll handle myself."

Allura sighed, nodded and left the room, leaving him behind. She took one more glimpse of him sitting down on the bed before the door closed. "Take a break, Keith," she called one last time. She sighed again for the like the 6,000th time. She hoped she wouldn't have to be the only one to put up with his issues. It wasn't like she didn't have her own.

She tossed that out of her thoughts and went straight back to the bridge.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith didn't expect to lay down on the bed, but it happened anyway. Exhaustion hit him, causing said backwards collapse. He also tried to keep his eyes open. But that too proved hard. He tried sitting up, but exhaustion had already claimed him. He sighed and groaned and sighed again, until he finally managed to sit up. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, in his Blade of Marmora suit. Just the sight of it made him furrow his eyebrows, and then they went back to their normal position. Why had he done that? He felt more comfortable with the Blade, right? He should definitely be getting back soon.

But he stayed on the bed. And instead of doing much else, he pulled his ceremonial blade out. The mark of the Blade of Marmora still glowed purple. He thought back to when he first got it, when his mom told him that she was leaving. His father had already split, full of it and possibly debt-ridden. Then he came back, it nothing was the same. He remembered that his mother would sometimes look out the window at the Texas sky. Since he didn't know he was part Galra, he thought she was just staring out at the sky to find her husband's pickup truck over the horizon.

What if she was in the Blade of Marmora?

He chastised himself for thinking of that. He never once saw her in his entire time with the Blade. But having the ceremonial blade was certainly no coincidence, and she may have been a member of another cell, just not his. Still, he wouldn't know for sure unless he found out for himself.

But what would Team Voltron think?

There it was again, his desire to stay with the team that had already rejected him. " _You're lying to yourself"_ , a voice in his mind told him.

 _Shut up!_  He answered.

_"They miss you. You know the Blade is not where you belong. Stop lying to yourself."_

He growled and threw the blade away, fell back down on the bed and grabbed the pillow so he could cover his ears as if he was talking to himself. "Shut up!" he said to himself.

Laying down on the bed turned out to be a mistake. As fatigue caught back up to him. And this time, he didn't stand a chance.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Coran heard Allura re-enter the bridge first through the sound of the opening door, and then by the sound of her long, loud sigh. "Tired, Allura?"

"Something like that," she answered as she took up her usual spot at the castle's control center, punching Olkari's coordinates into the wormhole generator.

"Was it Keith?"

"Let's not talk about that right now," she groaned.

"You just survived a very harrowing experience, Allura," he said. "You should rest."

"I will once we get back to Olkari." She yawned, which did not help Coran's confidence.

Coran took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Are you sure we can trust Lotor?"

"No," she answered.

"You say 'no' as in, you're not sure we can trust..."

"I mean that we absolutely cannot trust him," she answered. "And not because he's Galra. I've moved past that prejudice. I know I was wrong. However... why would he come to us now?" She punched a few more holographic keys in the also-holographic control panel. The teleduv came to life and created a wormhole. Then she maneuvered the castle into the wormhole, and it disappeared into it.

Once inside the wormhole, she activated the autopilot, then walked towards one of the Paladins' seats and sat down. She stayed quietly still, only staring out at the passing blue wormhole for several minutes. Coran occasionally turned back to look at her and could see the conflict in her face. He knew what she wanted to do. He also wondered why she didn't do it in front of Keith, since she seemed to be able to share her own insecurities and issues with him so well. But she might just have her own reason for hiding it from Keith.

War is hell. Allura seemed to have figured that out.

"I already said, you went through a very harrowing experience," he said.

"I already cried to Keith," she said, her voice cracking and fighting back tears. "But I must... I must..."

"Just cry," he said.

Allura needed no more prompting. The dam burst, and she cried, loudly and ugly. She doubled over, clutching her chest. The teardrops fell on the floor. Coran left his station and walked over to her, first placing a comforting hand on her back, then taking her in his arms and hugging her. She leaned into him, wrapping her own arms around him. He waited for her sobbing to die down.

Several minutes passed before that happened. Much like Keith, she cried until she couldn't. Hiccups replaced her sobs. She snorted some of the snot that had dripped out of her nose back in, then looked at Coran with her eyes puffy. She didn't look like a Princess, but that's what Coran was there for.

"Take a break," he said. "I'll get us to Olkari."

She sniffed and nodded her head. Then she got up and left the bridge. As she left, Shiro finally returned to the bridge. She put on a brave face for him and walked right past him.

"Is she okay?" Shiro asked.

"Of course," Coran replied. "Just coming down from an emotional high."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

The witch Haggar approached Zarkon's throne room, still visibly seething from the failure at Naxzela. The whole trip back to central command had been terrifyingly awkward, especially for the cruiser's crew. None of them wanted to get on her bad side, or risk getting zapped or blown to oblivion or worse if they so much as said something to her. So they all kept their distance while she ground her teeth, maybe telepathically communicating with Zarkon or something. All they knew was that she had magic powers or something, and that was all. It would be foolishly suicidal to test her. Better to play it safe and get them back to central command so they can report to Zarkon himself.

She, in turn, wanted to destroy anything that came her way. But in her single-minded frustration, anger and devotion to her Emperor and husband, she didn't care if any of the crew were being smart, or cowardly in her eyes. Voltron had escaped a certain destruction, no thanks to  _him_. Her own flesh and blood. The very idea that Lotor would betray the Empire was utterly inconceivable. And yes, she knew it meant what she thought it meant. But that's not important.

However, the fear was there, with his insubordinate actions, running around the universe to do… whatever it was, she did not know. And it was indeed inconceivable until they found out about the trans-reality ships he and his generals were constructing. She knew, or at least suspected, that he intended to use them to betray the Empire, at which point the possibility became conceivable. And now the inconceivable happened. Right before the end of Voltron. It was a bigger slap in the face than she even cared to admit.

That's why she was going to drain all of his life energy out from him the moment she saw him. Assuming that Zarkon did not slaughter him like an animal. Either one was acceptable, so long as Lotor was dead or learned his lesson. She personally wanted to slowly drain his life energy, just to watch him beg for mercy as he shriveled up and died. The mercy would eventually come. But he would be dead by then.

The guards standing in front of the throne room entrance snapped to attention and stepped aside for Haggar. She didn't even bother to look at their terrified expressions. Anyone else would commend them for remaining professional in the face of great stress. But Haggar is not one of those types. She thought they were spineless parasites, better suited for the most menial of tasks in the universe's backwaters. Those two could have conquered the Paladins' home planet if given the assignment. But they probably would have failed, too.

The door open. Haggar didn't break her stride. The guards sighed in relief when she was out of view. Quietly, of course.

Zarkon sat in the throne at the end of the long room, still wearing the armor keeping him alive. He didn't move. She knew he was staring at her from underneath that armor. They had yet to use it in battle, but they knew for certain it would end any rebellion in less than a tick. Fear was their key to keeping the universe in line, despite what Lotor may think. And now he had betrayed them. But first, she had to report the failure at Naxzela to an audience that would very likely lash out upon hearing the news of the failure. It wouldn't be the first time this happened, though.

"You have news to report?" Zarkon asked in his low, terrible voice.

"Yes, sire," she replied in her menacing, sinuous monotone. She approached the throne and stopped short of him. "The attempted trap at Naxzela was a failure. We almost succeeding in wiping out Voltron and the resistance... had Lotor not interfered."

Zarkon's eyes flashed. He reached out with his right hand, ripped off the head of a mechanical sentry and threw it to the ground. "THAT TRAITOR!" He roared.

Haggar didn't move. She didn't even react. "We were able to keep Voltron on the planet's surface," she continued. "The traitors Blade of Marmora provided back-up. One Marmoran even attempted a useless sacrifice to stop the bomb when Lotor intervened. We still succeeded in wiping out a part of the resistance forces."

"That is still not enough," Zarkon growled. "Too many systems have defected to Voltron. We must put an end to this at once."

"I understand, sire," Haggar answered.

"Begin preparations for a counterattack," said Zarkon.

"Sire, they will be expecting a counterattack," said Haggar. "That will hamper—"

"I  _KNOW_ THEY WILL BE EXPECTING A COUNTERATTACK!" Zarkon roared, crushing the other mechanical sentry, once again failing to draw a reaction from Haggar. "We cannot play safe just because they expect us. That is not how we have conquered most of the known universe. Gather the central command so that we may prepare a counterattack. Voltron may expect and prepare for us, but we must overwhelm them. And once Lotor is caught, we will make him wish he had never been born."

"I feel the same away about Lotor, sire," she said. "As for the rest... Operation Kuron has been proceeding as expected."

"Good," said Zarkon. "What details have you?"

"The part-Galra former Red Paladin has been forced out, to join the traitorous Blade of Marmora," she answered.

"That part-Galra Paladin concerns me," said Zarkon. "He has great potential."

"He even piloted the Black Lion for a short period," said Haggar. Zarkon grabbed one of the mechanical sentries and tore whatever was left of its body in half, throwing them both past the unmoving Haggar.

"The Black Lion is MINE!" He roared.

"That Paladin is of no concern to us anymore," said Haggar. "Intelligence suggests that it was his own mentor that forced him out."

"Then Operation Kuron is succeeding," said Zarkon. "That is good news."

"Sire, before we launch the counterattack, I suggest that we keep sending monsters after Voltron," Haggar continued. "We can keep them away from our troop movements before the counterattack. That will ensure their defeat out of lack of preparation."

"I wanted to be angry with you," said Zarkon. "But your suggestion pleases me. You may proceed with that plan."

"Thank you, sire," she said, deferentially lowering her head.

The doors opened behind them. Haggar turned around to see a soldier coming towards them. He looked like he had something urgent to say. "Lord Zarkon!" He breathlessly announced. "Lotor's generals have arrived!"

"This is unexpected," said Haggar. "Have you restrained them?"

"No," he answered. "They came willingly."

Haggar quickly turned to Zarkon. Both of them shared a look before Haggar turned back and Zarkon spoke.

"I will grant them an audience," he said. "But ensure they do not have ulterior motives."

"Yes, my lord," said the soldier. " _Vrepit sa!_ " He got up and left the throne room.

Minutes later, the door opened again. Three female figures stepped inside. Lotor's generals, Acxa, Ezor and Zethrid entered the room. Haggar could not only sense how intimidated they felt, but she could see it in their postures. They kept their heads down and their eyes diverted from Zarkon. Again, Haggar believed them all to be cowardly fools.

They approached the throne and knelt before Zarkon, still not looking at him.

"What news do you have?" Zarkon growled.

"We came so we could get back in the good graces of the Empire," said Ezor.

"How?"

"We—we didn't know Lotor was planning to betray the Empire!" She stammered.

"Are you making excuses?" Zarkon growled, his eyes glowing. Ezor froze in her place the moment she looked up and saw his armor and glowing eyes.

"We're not making excuses!" Acxa declared. "Prince Lotor deceived us! He killed our friend Narti!"

Haggar's eyebrow twitched. She had been using the blind half-Galra general to spy on Lotor. It dawned on her that the generals didn't know why Lotor killed Narti. Perhaps this could be a good opportunity.

"I am deeply sorry to hear that," she said. "Did he say why he did it?"

"No," said Ezor. "We tried to restrain him, but he escaped!"

"It's not your fault," said Haggar. "We were also unaware that he was so determined to betray the Empire." She turned to Zarkon. The two shared a glance, and the Emperor seemed to understand where she was going. "What was Lotor planning?"

"He wanted to create a portal to another reality," said Acxa. "He was going to use it to harvest quintessence from the space between realities."

Haggar released a loud, satisfied sigh. "He wanted the quintessence for himself," she said. "How dare he. Now it is obvious as to why he betrayed us."

"What do you want us to do?" Acxa asked.

"Can we destroy him!?" Zethrid finally spoke up.

"When you get your chance," said Haggar. "But first, we will need to find him. There is no doubt that he can use his knowledge of the Empire to betray us."

"Report to the high command," said Zarkon. "We are going to launch a counterattack that will annihilate Voltron, the resistance, and Lotor."

"Won't Voltron be expecting a counterattack?" Acxa asked.

"Of course they will," said Zarkon. "But it does not matter. I have no doubt that you will be of great service to us. You are dismissed."

" _Vrepit sa!_ " All three declared in unison.

"I hope your plan will succeed," Zarkon told Haggar once the three generals were out of earshot.

"Of course it will," said Haggar. "My only concern is if they are still loyal to him."

"We must ensure they remain loyal to the empire," said Zarkon.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"I can't believe they let us go free," Ezor said while they returned to their ship.

"Who cares!?" Zethrid roared. "We're FREE!"

"Yeah, but... what about Lotor? Acxa?"

Acxa had remained silent. It was visibly unnerving for Ezor.

"Are we really sure we can capture Lotor?"

"Of course we will," said Acxa. "We have to."

"I know we can," said Zethrid. "And I know we will. But he might have too many tricks up his sleeves."

"And now we know one of them," said Acxa. She stopped in her tracks and turned to the other two. "Stop with this nonsense. We're going to find Lotor, and we're going to bring him back."

"I hope you know what you're doing, Acxa," said Ezor.

"I know," said Acxa. "He's the best leader we've ever had. I'm as reluctant to capture him as much as you are. In fact, I would rather not be doing this. But we have to do it, for the glory of the Empire!" She was trying her best to hide the apprehension in her voice and gesture.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was this?
> 
> I admit that I didn't really know where I was going to go with this at first, but now that I've been brainstorming some ideas, I have a good outline for my plans. There's quite a few things that I want to do, and I hope you guys like them!
> 
> Keith's issues aren't going away any time soon. And Allura has her own. That's the point behind their passages here. I don't want to make Allura some manic pixie dream girl, and she won't be.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it! Please let me know!


	4. It Feels Like a Memory

Keith imagined death so much that it felt like a memory. When was it going to get him? Six feet in front of him? It almost came for him in a flaming ball. It would inevitably come again whether he was prepared for it or not. He almost prepared this time. Next time he might not be so lucky. It might end up like the times he was almost killed in accidents, or he could get lost in a Blade ship and slowly starve to death. He could be on a ship that's hit by a Galra missile and his life would end before he even knew what had happened.

Those possibilities came to him while he lay on his bed in the castle. He did fall right to sleep, but that sleep was occasionally interrupted whenever he thought of any of those scenarios. It was how thoughts of death occupied his thinking, going back to his childhood, after his mom left, and he and his dad moved into that hovel. It didn't always get to him, though, like during his early years at the Garrison, with Shiro—good old, reliable Shiro—there to take him under his wing. But then Shiro left, and Keith, worried about his brother figure's fate, would let the images of death come back to him.

They weren't the cause of his expulsion. The Garrison made it clear that it was Keith being Keith the hot-headed loner, etc. He sighed when he opened his eyes again. Yeah, he preferred solitude. But 'loner'… it made him crunch his body up more. The fetal position is the favorite of anyone going through a rough time.

Readjusting his position, he stared up at the ceiling. More like to the ceiling, because he ignored a lot of details in said ceiling. His eyes just happened to be looking up at them as he thought about his near-death experience. Or whatever popped in his mind. There was a lot to think about. He still didn't care a whole lot that he'd almost died, because the mission was more important.

But something funny kept happening.

He should have died, no question about it, and he thought that no one would care if he died. But now, whenever he closed his eyes, he could see them. They were actually blank, blurry images, but he could make out people being sad. Why were they sad? He reached out to get their attention, but his hand passed through them.

The images gradually came into focus. He kind of recognized them, but he still couldn't see their faces. It wasn't good enough. But, since he wasn't in control, he floated in between them like a leaf in the wind. Or something like that. No matter how he tried, he couldn't get their attention. There were five of them, all clad in familiar colors; black, pink, blue, yellow and green—oh, no.

He quickly realized that the figures were his teammates, and they were all in mourning. But they rejected him! Why would they be sad? I'm not dead! I'm not dead! He called out. No one heard him. He waved his arms to get their attention, but all he did was wave himself away.

And then he woke up again, kicking and flailing.

He sat up, groaning. "Dammit," he quietly groaned to himself. Another stupid dream. He was back in his room—the lights were now off and he was still alone.

He flopped back down on the bed and once again, let his eyes close.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

_Glenn's heart raced. Zombies were one thing, but this was something completely different._

_The Saviors had captured them. They'd played games with them all day and night, and now they had them right where they wanted them. Glenn felt especially guilty, since Maggie wasn't going to get the treatment from Dr. Carson. He, she and the rest of the Alexandrians could only kneel on the ground, surrounded by armed Saviors and headlights shining in their eyes in the head of night, as their leader, Negan, rambled on and on about honor and such. Worse still, he threatened Rick that he either surrender everything they'd built up to him, or he kill them all._

_Glenn himself had just been dumped on the ground from a van. He kept looking over at Maggie. He cursed himself for not doing enough to help her, but he also knew that it wasn't really his fault. They'd gotten captured. Everyone was fucked._

_It wasn't the first time he felt helpless, hopeless, or whatever, only able to watch as his fellow Alexandria survivors had a brush with death. He immediately recalled one of his biggest failures and regrets, his scouting mission with Noah and Nicholas. He would never forget the terror as he, Noah and Nicholas had to run into the revolving door, only to be swamped by Walkers. Escape seemed futile, until Eugene provided the distraction they needed, and he made a plan to get them out. All he needed to do was break the glass._

_It would have worked, but Nicholas had panicked after Glenn pounded on the door with his AK's rifle butt. Even though he calmed Nicholas down, Nicholas forced the door open and took off running, and to Glenn's horror, allowed the Walkers to grab Noah's leg. He'd desperately tried to save Noah, but there were far too many ravenous walkers for the both of them to hold off, and Glenn lost grip on Noah. He would never forget that moment, and Noah's surprised expression when the Walkers slammed him against the glass, that turned into horrible screams of agony. He helplessly watched the Walkers tear Noah to pieces to devour him._

_It did already destroy whatever optimism he had for Alexandria._

_He was shivering, and not because it was a cold night—which it was, by the way. He could see his breath making steam. But his heart raced while he watched Negan continue to ramble on and on to Rick._

_"I want you… to work… for me," he said, pointing his barbed wire-wrapped bat at the sullen Rick. "YOU can't do that if you're dead, now can you?" Glenn didn't know if Negan was crazy or just indecisive. Or maybe he had a point. It probably was better for that Negan spare everyone._

_"I'm not growin' a garden," Negan continued, "But, you killed my people, a whole damn lot of 'em, more than I'm comfortable with. And for that, for that you're gonna pay."_

_Glenn gulped._

_"So now…" Negan's dramatic pause felt agonizingly long. "I'm gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you."_

_He listened to Negan describe Lucille. He tried to move forward, just to get close enough to Maggie, while keeping his eyes and ears on Negan. He kept talking and prowling in front of the group, occasionally stopping at one or two like he was going to pick them. He even stopped in front of Carl. But then, he stopped at Maggie._

_"Jeeeeeez-uuuus!" he said, getting a sight of her awful condition. She looked away from him. Glenn felt his stomach come up to his throat. "You… look… shitty!" Glenn shook in his place. "I should just put you outta your misery right now!"_

_"NOOO!" Glenn got up and rushed Negan. But one of his henchmen grabbed him. The next thing he knew, he had a mouthful of dirt and a crossbow pointed at his face. The same goon dragged him back to his spot. Glenn couldn't bear it. He screamed again, but Negan only answered with a sinister grin._

_"A'ight, listen," said Negan, "Don't aaaaaaaany of ya... do that again. I wil shut that shit down, no exceptions! First one's free, it's an emotional moment—" he pointed at Glenn. "I get it."_

_Fear gripped the group. Glenn felt the worst; a horrible helplessness. Now it was clear they were at the mercy of an angry mad man who wasn't playing around. There was little they could do. They could only watch Negan leisurely strolling up and down the line, looking for a victim. He whistled some tune._

_"I got an idea," he finally said. He strolled up and down the group, going "Eenie... meanie... minie... moe..." Glenn felt his blood chill. Negan pointed Lucille's tip in their faces._

_Until he came to Abraham. "You... are... it! Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father. Then we'll start. You can breathe... you can blink... you can cry. Hell... you're already gonna be doin' that!"_

_Negan swung Lucille down on Abraham's head with a sickening "THUD". Someone screamed. Abraham sat back up._

_"Suck... my... nuts!" He said. But Negan kept brutally bashing his head in, only pausing to taunt him, until Abraham's head... if you could call it that... was a gelatinous pile of blood, brains and skull fragments._

_He laughed. "Look at my dirty GURL!" He carried Lucille around, showing the bloody bat to everyone, and finally stopped at Rosita. "Feast your eeeyes on THIS!" Rosita looked away from him, preferring to focus on the ground in front of her. Glenn glanced over at Daryl. He looked like he was about ready to tear Negan's head off himself. "Oh, damn. Were you two… were you together? That sucks. But if you were, you should know… There was a REASON for all this. Red—and hell, he WAS and forever will be Red—he just took one or SIX OR SEVEN FOR THE TEAM!"_

_Glenn didn't want to keep looking at Abraham's corpse. Somehow, it was worse than what a Walker might do to him. Probably because Negan knew exactly what he was doing. Walkers just acted on instinct._

_"So take… a damn… look!" he ordered Rosita. She didn't look. "TAKE A DAMN LOOK!"_

_Daryl angrily got to his feet, shook the goons off and punched Negan. Other goons restrained him and threw him to the ground. In any other situation, they'd be celebrating, but everyone felt severe dread for Daryl._

_"Oh-ho, MY! That... is a no-no! The WHOOOLE THING! Not ONE BIT of that shit flies here!" One goon asked to kill Daryl. Negan ordered him not to._

_"Aaanyway... that's not how it works!" Negan continued after Daryl was returned to the line. "First one's free! Then what'd I say? I said I would SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN!" Negan walked over to Daryl and close to Glenn. But Glenn kept his eyes on Daryl. He was the best of the lot, but if he couldn't stop Negan, who could? It just reinforced the hopelessness of their situation._

_"No exceptions." Negan continued. Glenn couldn't see Negan's grin. "Now, I dunno what kinda lyin' assholes you've been dealing with... but I'm a man of my word." He looked over at Daryl. "First impressions are important." Everyone was about ready to cry. Glenn tried to hide it._

_"I need you... to know me," Negan continued. "SO!" He paused to look at Lucille, and then to Daryl. "Back to it!"_

_Negan spun around and swung Lucille down on Glenn's head._

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith screamed as he sat up. His heart raced faster than after his suicide attempt, sweat dripped into his eyes from his forehead, he struggled to catch his breath and he gripped the sides of the bed. He finally let go of the bed after several harrowing, white-knuckled moments and reached up to feel his head. There was no blood and no massive dent in his skull.

Then he flopped back on the bed and sighed. He still tried to catch his breath, but he took several deep breaths so he could lower his heart rate.

As he came down from that nightmare, he remembered that this wasn't the first time he'd had that particular nightmare. Everyone he knew, including himself, chalked it up to all the horror, zombie and post-apocalyptic movies he liked to watch. And because he was an anxiety-riddled mess. That was the most rational, likeliest explanation. Slav on the other hand, would probably say something about it being memories from a past life or alternate reality. If so, then why didn't Shiro ever say anything about Sven?

That didn't change the fact that it always scared the fuck outta him.

Similar dreams tormented him, apparently set in that same zombie world, but compared to other dreams, they were few and far between. Most death dreams involved him falling from great heights, or getting Shot in a firefight. And right now, he wondered if he would even survive this war.

Then he heard the roaring.

At first it was faint. He thought maybe one of the lions just felt like roaring. Did real lions actually do that? That was a rhetorical question he asked himself.

Then he could hear the roaring growing louder. But there was no echo. It sounded like it was coming from inside his head, like head headphones listening to lion sounds. Or just like the first time they heard the instructions coming from the lions.

He immediately jumped out of bed and ran out the door.

He got lost at first. He assumed that Red was the one calling him, so he went to Red first, only to find out that Red had put a particle barrier up. He tried to call to it—"III! AAAM! YOUR PAL-A-DIIIN!"—until he remembered that no, he wasn't Red's Paladin, especially not anymore. He felt like a fuckin' moron as he sat cross-legged in front of Red. She probably didn't like him anymore. She and Lance were probably very happy together.

He cursed himself. He'd let Lance's "seventh wheel" crap get to him.

"I dunno what to do," he groaned, ostensibly talking to Red. "They'll welcome me back, right?" Red didn't answer. "Gah! You're no help!"

Then the roaring returned.

At first he was befuddled. Which lion was calling him? Green? Blue? Yellow? He could probably be a leg. But that made no sense. Why would either of those lions want him? The only other option was—

He groaned. "Black," he said to himself.

He immediately knew that he didn't want to have to face Black.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Allura couldn't sleep. At all.

Even though she'd cried several hours ago, she was still on the verge of another breakdown. This one probably wouldn't be as hard as the one earlier. She nearly cried herself dry that last time. She didn't know it was possible to do such a thing, although she came close after she was forced to destroy her father's AI, the last time she would ever get to see him. And now just thinking about that was bringing her to cry again.

She sat up, hoping that this would help her calm down. It didn't work. She could still feel the excess water leaking out of her eyes. She had already cried once today. She would not cry again. She would not cry in front of people. She's a princess, a leader of the anti-Zarkon resistance. Showing weakness was out of the question.

Diplomacy was a high-stakes game that didn't allow for any slip-ups. Slipping on ice in Voltron on Ice didn't count. If she wasn't careful, someone could take advantage of anything, like a hiccup. Probably not like that. But presenting herself to leaders of worlds desperate for freedom, and then breaking down to cry would not put her in a good position to gain allies. A weak little girl was no leader to them. For that reason, she had to conceal and don't feel anything. But how long could she keep it up? Would she keep it up until she became the mask of the stoic resistance leader? Or would the mask shatter into a million pieces before she even had a chance?

Frustrated, she threw her covers off, got out of bed and left her bedroom. She would walk herself to sleep, and didn't care where she went.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith stared up at Black, clenching and unclenching his fist and taking several deep breaths to calm his heart rate. He said nothing to Black, since he didn't have anything to say. He didn't even know what to say. He was sure Black had rejected him for Shiro, but he was also confused about why Black had called for him. Why? Blue had already rejected Lance after the latter took over the Red Lion, taking his place in turn. It wasn't easy to figure out, but it also wasn't hard to get a good idea. Maybe Black liked Keith enough and was worried about him after his little escapade with the Blade. That was the likeliest reason, just like his own issues were the likeliest reason he had that zombie movie nightmare.

He didn't know what Black was doing, or thinking. Obviously he wasn't like Garfield or any other sentient cartoon cat. The Lions existed in their own little niche the Paladins had yet to figure out. Even so, if he could talk to Black, Keith had all those questions he wanted to ask him, aside from 'why me?' Why had Black accepted him in the first place, only to go back to Shiro? Was Black really so busy with the Voltron Show that he couldn't try to help him once in a while? Was he crazy for thinking he could talk to a giant robotic cat?

The last one probably made the most sense… kinda.

Most importantly, what did Black want?

He got impatient. "What do you want, Black?!" he called. He quickly felt as stupid now as he did the first and second times he tried to talk to Red. But then Black's next move caught him by surprise.

Black got up of his haunches, stood up straight and then leaned down on his forelimbs in front of Keith. When his head reached the floor, he opened his mouth. Keith immediately understood what Black wanted, but he was still confused.

"Uh, what?" he asked. He put that thought away and moved towards Black. He paused, hesitating. Then he remembered that hesitation wouldn't have gotten to Voltron in the first place and stepped inside Black's mouth.

Once inside the cockpit, he sat down in the pilot's seat. It didn't feel as familiar and comfortable as Red, but it was still both of those. But he still didn't know what to do. Shiro did tell him about that bonding moment with Black when he (Keith) and the others went to that mall, and Shiro hadn't even left the castle.

So… now what?

"You wanna bond?" he asked. Nothing. Then he remembered that he forgot that he needed to grab the controls. Without much prompting, he reached out and took hold of both handlebars. Black's control panel immediately lit up. His stomach clenched as Black came to life. The instruments activated, displaying charts, graphs, needles, and the castle's hangar. With his stomach still clenched, he groaned. He didn't want Black to respond to him, Shiro was Black's paladin! This wasn't right!

"Black! What are you doing!?" he shouted. "Black! Stop! I'm not a leader! I can't do it! Shiro's the leader! I'm just… I'm just a Blade of Marmora!"

Black must not have been impressed by Keith's assertions, as it roared/growled to contradict him.

"Oh, come on!" Keith groaned. He kicked himself mentally for arguing with a lion of all things. What was he thinking?

"WHAT are you trying to tell me?" He asked.

He suddenly felt a great surge of energy coursing through his body, first through his chest, then to his head, then to his arms and finally to his legs. Then, as if being teleported, flew with Black into another wormhole, out into space, and in front of a green and blue planet. He stopped and stared at the planet for a second, but Black promptly ejected him into the atmosphere, screaming all the while. At first he was scared, but then saw that his body was surrounded by a purple light.

He was expecting something to happen, but this was different. Through Black, he could see a world not unlike Earth or Arus, a castle right out of an old sci-fi book cover, and five lions that looked almost exactly like the ones he and the other Paladins flew. He watched, as if suspended in mid-air, as the lions did battle with a giant, ugly monster. He looked down and saw that he was still in his astral form.

" _Ready to form Voltron!_ "

He froze and looked around for the source of the voice. Then, he found himself inside a lion's cockpit, looking at the figure of a human man dressed in a white and red space suit not unlike his old Paladin armor, and he could feel a tinge of familiarity, because the person in the suit looked a lot like him, only a couple years older. The person carried an authoritative determination about him, which he could see in his eyes. Again, they looked so much like his.

Realization hit. Was Black showing him a version of himself from an alternate reality?

" _Activate interlock! Dynatherms, connected! Infracells, up! Mega-thrusters are go!_ "

The leader's orders dented his amazement like Negan's bat did to his dream persona's head. Who the fuck even talks like that!?

" _Let's go, Voltron Force!_ " He heard four others cry.

VOLTRON! So this was an alternate reality version of him, it had to be!

He suddenly found himself ejected, for lack of a better term, from the Black Lion's cockpit to watch the other lions flying towards each other, morphing into familiar shapes. The Black Lion slimmed down to form the body. Red and Green's legs retracted to form the arms. Blue and Yellow did the same, to form the legs.

" _Form! Feet and legs!_ " The leader ordered. " _Form arms! And body!_ " Red and Green connected first, followed by Blue and Yellow. " _And I'll form... the head!_ "

He gazed at Voltron, or at least this particular reality's version of it, for several seconds, before he heard his name being called by one of the lion pilots.

And then the vision ended.

He felt himself being pulled backwards, out of the planet, out of space, and out of this reality, and back—

Back into the castle's hangar.

Confusion hit first, but annoyance followed. He groaned at first and bellowed, "What the hell was that!?" Black answered with a growl of its own. Keith wasn't impressed. "Who the quiznak talks like that!?" Black growled again. "So that's it? You want me to lead? Forget it, I'm not leading if—wait, what about Shiro—I'm talking to a stupid lion again!" He growled, grabbed his head and rubbed his face. For a grand epiphany, this felt more like a cartoon.

"Do you want me to pilot you? Is that it?" He asked again. Black growled. At least this time it sounded positive, and it fit with how it instantly came to life as soon as he touched the controls, so he figured it out quickly.

Still, he wasn't sure if he wanted to, or was ready.

"What about Shiro?" He asked. No answer. His eyes arrowed to show his annoyance. "Fuck."

"Shiro!" The voice interrupted his thoughts. "Shiro, are you in there?" He looked down and saw Allura, dressed in her nightdress, looking up at Black. "Are you trying to bond with Black again?"

Without thinking, he called out, "It's me, Allura." And then remembered that he couldn't exactly talk to her without turning the lion's speaker on.

So he lowered Black down to the floor and, after a moment's hesitation, emerged from Black. Allura gapsed.

"Keith! What are you doing awake at this hour!?"

"I couldn't sleep," he answered. "Looks like you couldn't, either."

"No," she answered.

Now that he was close to her, he could get a good look at her, and it surprised him. She'd already cried once today in front of him—behind him, technically, begging him to stay—but this looked very different.

"Are you okay, Allura?" He asked.

"Yes," she answered, barely able to cover up her cracking voice. Keith saw right through it.

"No, you're not," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"You're lying."

"Lying!?" She sounded hurt, but more offended that she'd been caught lying instead of... whatever she was actually thinking.

"Allura, what's wrong?"

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, did you like the chapter?
> 
> Things are about to get a little hectic, what with the holidays coming up, at least in the US. Means I'll be getting pretty busy. So I wanted to get this chapter in before things got really crazy. Hard part was making it long enough, because writer's block was starting to get to me. Luckily I already know what I want to do with this story.
> 
> Keith's Glenn dream was inspired by a piece of art on Tumblr by the user Vrepitsalt. As for whether it's a vision of a past life in another reality or just the ramblings of an anxiety-riddled mind, I'll let you decide ;)
> 
> But I just want to make it clear that I don't wat The Walking Dead, so if you have a problem with the events in the dream? Take it somewhere else, because I can't really argue with you on it. All I did was watch the scene and scene leading up to it to know what happened. So like I said, go easy on me. Of course, I wish that I could've saved Keith's second vision for the next chapter, but I couldn't find a good transition point. Sorry.
> 
> In the meantime, please sit tight and let me know what you think of the chapter, please?


	5. Look at How Lucky We Are

After she got out of bed and left her room, Allura had no thoughts of where she wanted to go, only that she wanted to walk around so that she could stop herself from crying again. So she wandered the castle for minutes on end, and would have looked like a ghost to a human who had just wandered in, assuming they were on Earth. She stood ramrod straight, kept her eyes forward and her arms at her sides, instinctively practicing her diplomatic, royal and regal demeanor—conceal, don't feel, talk less, smile more, don't let them know what you're against or what you're for, etc. Anything to get into the room where it happens.

But she  _still_ didn't know if or how long she could keep it up in front of the Paladins. They knew who she was. She liked cute and sparkly things, she could let her guard down, and acted just like a regular Earth teenager. It's who she was. She could probably play both roles—the regal revolutionary queen, leader of a resistance movement to the rest of the universe, and the girlish sister figure the Paladins knew to them, but she thought it was going to be hard. She already refused to cry in front of them after the stress of almost dying at Naxzela. That mask could slip in diplomatic situations, and it almost did once.

But the hallways became long, empty tunnels to her, in her self-reflective state of mind, to such an extent that she didn't recognize the kitchen, the cryopods, or even the brig. Lotor was fast asleep and didn't see her walking past in her pseudo-trance.

Showing Lotor any weakness would be disastrous.

Her wandering eventually led her to the Lions' hangar, but not before she had a few more adventures that forced her to wake up, at least a little bit. She passed the kitchen again, and noticed the lights on. It was really the space mice playing a little game on the tabletop. She also went to the bridge, only to. Remember that the castle was on autopilot. Her presence was unnecessary. Finally, just for the sake of it, she went to her lion chute and took the speeder to Blue. There, she stopped and stared up at the lion for several moments, her internal "Am I worthy of being a Paladin" and "talk less, smile more" monologues continued.

Until she heard more roaring.

Curiosity struck and she got in her sled to follow the source of the roaring, going to Red first. When she got to Red and saw that it had not moved, she recognized that there was no possible way it was Red. But she also quickly surmised that it must have been another Lion, and took a wild guess with some basis in truth. It must have been Black. She immediately got back in her sled, adjusting her nightgown's train, and drove the sled to Black.

She came across Black sitting upright—no surprise there—but with its eyes lit up. Curious, she stepped out of the sled and walked up to it to get a better look. This was relative, of course. She couldn't see much. It was chilly, and she crossed her arms to keep herself just a little warmer at the very least. It didn't affect how she looked up at Black, however, because she was already so deep in thought about what was going on inside it. She made an assumption and decided to call out to the person currently inside Black's cockpit.

"Shiro! Shiro, are you in there?" she called out. "Are you trying to bond with Black again?"

There was a moment of silence that unnerved her before the Lion bent down on its front legs and opened its mouth. And she was surprised when Shiro wasn't the pilot who walked out, but Keith. She gasped.

"Keith! What are you doing awake at this hour!?"

"I couldn't sleep," he answered. "Looks like you couldn't, either."

"No," she answered.

"Are you okay, Allura?" He asked.

"Yes," she answered, barely able to cover up her cracking voice. Keith saw right through it.

"No, you're not," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"You're lying."

"Lying!?" She sounded hurt, but more offended that she'd been caught lying instead of... whatever she was actually thinking.

"Allura, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I—" she paused so that she could regain her thoughts.

"Allura, this isn't like you! What are you trying to do!?"

He was right, of course, although Allura wouldn't admit it. "Talk less, smile more—" she started, only to let a hiccup escape. "Conceal, don't—" Her emotions and the stress of her own near-death experience got to her. The tears burst through the metaphorical dam, and she threw herself at Keith, throwing her arms around his neck and loudly crying into his shoulder. After momentarily blushing, Keith wrapped his own arms around her and held her tightly to him.

He waited for her to finish crying, while also thinking of the last time he'd seen her cry in front of him. For the life of him, he couldn't remember, although that may be because he simply had never seen it before. Of course, listening to her ugly, almost primal crying, he could at least kind of understand why she wouldn't want to show this side of her to anyone. Still, he knew that she'd gone through a lot, not just recently, but in the time leading up to the beginning of Zarkon's reign of terror to make her feel… what's the word? Stressed. And she'd almost died, too.

He immediately figured that's why she was crying right now.

So he hugged her tighter, but not too hard as to choke her. She showed her appreciation by also hugging him tightly and nuzzling his shoulder. However, he got nervous when he felt her pulling on his neck, making him remember that he still wore his Blade of Marmora suit. It must smell bad. But judging by the wetness he felt on his shoulder, he deduced that it didn't matter as much as her needing a friend mattered. So he didn't say anything while she cried, but did rub her back. He also noticed that her skin was soft, and her hair smelled like flowers. But he forced himself to not think about that for now.

He knew when she stopped crying, because she basically cried herself out. Her wailing turning into sobs, then into hiccups and then calmed down until she stopped.

Gently, he led her back to her sled, and helped her sit down, while keeping a comforting hand on her back. It didn't take her long to come down from the episode, and she was calm again in a matter of moments.

She took a deep breath and sighed. "We've got to stop meeting like this," she quipped.

"Huh?"

"This is the third time all day we've had to—never mind. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Not really," he answered. "I had some bad dreams, then Black called me."

"Bad dreams, huh?" she asked. "What kind of dreams?"

Keith told her about the Negan dream in as much detail as he could, starting with the threat. He also mentioned the fear "Glenn" had for "Maggie", whom he believed were an item at least in the dream universe. He got to the important parts—Negan's bat, Abraham's death, Glenn trying to save the weakened Maggie, and Negan's offer (he might've forgotten about that)—and then to the part that really freaked him out. His voice slowed and he reflexively brought his hand to his head when he told her that Negan bashed his brains in. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that she was intently listening, and she even gasped when he got to the gruesome details, especially when he told her about his aforementioned "death".

He didn't question why he was so comfortable talking about this to her, he just knew that she was a good listener. It put him at ease. It helped him confess this dream, even though he didn't want to at first. But, he pushed that thought out of his mind and focused on the dream. "That's not even the first one I've had," he noted. "I've had other dreams as that 'Glenn' guy."

"I don't know what to say," she sighed. "I know how Slav might answer. He might think it's something to do with alternate realities." Keith did consider the possibility, but he didn't know how it would work.

"I don't think that's it," he said. "I mean, I like a lotta zombie and horror movies, so maybe—"

"Zombies?"

"Walking corpses. Kinda like Zarkon."

"… I never thought of it that way."

"No, the Garrison therapist suggested it's probably because I'm so... Ggah, what's the word?"

"Anxious?"

"Yeah, I think so. Actually, I think that's the better reason."

"I wish I knew which it actually is. I could help, but... you already know that I have my own troubles."

"Why did you say 'conceal don't feel'?" He asked.

"That's how diplomacy works," she said. "I can't show any weakness. Even if I'm feeling low."

"That sounds… hard."

"You should try it sometime."

"I don't think diplomacy is my thing. But you looked… really upset."

Allura looked away for a moment. But, guilt immediately struck, too. The boy had opened himself up to her. It was only right that she do the same. But, when she tried to explain, she froze up.

"Allura, please."

"I'd… rather not talk about it."

Keith sighed his groan. He bent over, putting his hands on his knee. Neither spoke for a couple minutes. Awkward silence was becoming just as familiar to them as holding the other and crying. Not a good basis for any friendship, but it's a good feature. But, awkward silence doesn't help at all.

"Do you… think I should go back to the Blade—"

"No."

"But it's my decision—"

"And I'm giving my opinion," she interrupted. "You asked, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"It hasn't been the same without you around here. We've mostly kept busy with the Voltron show, but… I confess that it's not Voltron without you on the ship. I feel tempted to ask you a question a lot, but then I remember you're not there. What am I saying? You won't believe me. You haven't seen what it's like around here without you. It's probably hard for you to believe."

"… I can believe it."

She turned and softly smiled at him, an expression he returned.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. So… why were you upset?"

"Really?"

"Really."

Allura sighed. She still didn't want to talk about it. But Keith's concern was too much to endure, and she gave in.

"You weren't the only one who nearly died," she said. "It got to me, too. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize."

"And the reason I said that, was because I didn't want to make myself look weak to all of you. I'm foolish. I've already shown weakness in front of the other Paladins. It'd be stupid of me to hide now. But, I guess I felt like I needed to put some walls up. Just like you admitted in your video diary."

"You watched that?"

"I thought I already told you," she said. "Oh, well. I made my own. It's not as emotional as yours.

"Anyway, that's off-topic. You  _should_ come back."

"And what good would I be?" he asked. "Lance is flying Red and Shiro's back with Black. Lance was talking about being a seventh wheel. But I'm t'e real seventh wheel."

"No, you're not," she chastised, lightly pushing his shoulder. "Remember when I said we cannot form Voltron without you? I meant it both literally and figuratively. Literally at the time, but I guess not so much right now. What I mean now is… that you're irreplaceable. And every time I look back at your departure, I hate myself because I should have said how much you meant to the team, even if you aren't in a lion. Am I making sense?"

"I don't know."

"Keith," she said again, "Do you really believe that your life is worthless?"

"No, it's just…"

"What was it like trying to fit into the Blade?"

Keith took a deep breath. "We're told that the mission takes priority. I got yelled at a lot because I tried to save someone else's life at the risk of my own. And now I can't even remember his name. But the mission's always more important than my life."

"Then you should leave."

"Then where am I supposed to go!? I don't have a lion, Shiro's abandoned me, you guys pushed me away—"

"You pushed us away because you're afraid we'd do that," she interrupted. "Oh, quiznak, I'm sorry. I guess we did push you away."

"It's okay."

"No, it's  _not_ okay," she insisted. "You're in this position because we let our anger get to us. But, we didn't know if you wanted to—"

"Well now it sounds like you want me to stay with the Blade!"

"I don't, I want you to come back! You're a part of the family!"

"Family?"

"Yes, of course!"

"You're joking. Shiro was my family, and now he's abandoned me."

"A family isn't always what you think it is," she replied. "I guarantee you that we're better for you in this dark place than the Blade is. Come home.  _Please._ "

"I don't know."

"What were you doing in Black, by the way?"

Now it was Keith's turn to freeze up. He turned to look at Black, holding the lion's "gaze" for a couple moments to consider what he was going to say. "I think he showed me another reality."

"Another reality? What was it about?"

"I don't know. But I saw another version of us forming Voltron. And I was the leader."

His gaze still held Black's gaze, so he didn't see Allura's eyes widen, and her hands going up to her mouth. It wasn't until he turned to look at her that he realized what she was doing.

"You know what that means?" she asked.

"That the other leader said some really stupid things?"

"NO. It means that Black believes you can be a great leader!"

"I… I don't know. Shiro's already re-bonded with Black. I can't take it away from him."

"Keith, Black wants  _you_. That has to mean something. And we're going to need all the help we can get. The Galra will inevitably counterattack, even if they suspect we're aware."

"So what should I do?"

"I don't know. Maybe you can provide support, or work with Matt? At least he'd be a better place for you than the Blade."

"You don't know what the Blade was like."

"I can see what they turned you into. Yes, I know you were dedicated before, but I think you need to step back. Take a break. That would be enough."

"How can you still be so chipper after everything you've gone through?"

"Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now," she said, gesturing at the lions. "History is happening and we just happen to be living it."

Keith hesitated, and then looked back to Black. He stayed quiet for a moment. "Do you really think I could be a good leader?"

"If Black believes in you, then so do I."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith was surprisingly able to get a good night's sleep when he returned to his bedroom after their conversation. There was no zombie dream, no nightmare about angry teammates, nor the Blade of Marmora rejecting him, leaving him out with nowhere to go. When he woke up the next morning, he felt surprisingly refreshed, like he hadn't had such a good night's sleep in a long time. He almost forgot. Being involved in this war made sleep hard, especially with the Blade of Marmora. They were just as rigid with their sleep schedules as they were with everything else. It was both disciplined and tiring.

And the more he thought about the Blade of Marmora, the more he didn't like. But it was better to be with them, then doing nothing with Voltron.

Right?

" _Paladins, please come to the dining room for a meeting_ ," Shiro announced over the PA system. He immediately jumped out of bed and left his bedroom.

The Paladins, plus Coran and Matt, sat at the dining room table, accompanied by Kolivan, an Olkari female—Olkaria's new leader after Lubos was deposed—and Prince Lotor, still handcuffed and surrounded by a particle barrier. Keith found this scene when he arrived in the dining room, but remained invisible again, much to the dismay of the part of his mind that wanted to stop hiding from everyone. Allura knew he was here, but he was still not ready to tell everyone yet.

He could see that everyone sitting around the table was serious, and had their eyes all on Shiro. Their expressions were serious. Keith moved around to find a place to listen in without disturbing them, and found a spot behind Allura.

"It's almost certain that they're planning a counterattack," said Shiro. "And they're likely aware that we're onto them."

"Great, a counterattack," Lance groaned. "Like we needed more bad news!"

"So wait, they know that we know that they know that we know they're planning a counterattack," Hunk tried to explain to himself. "I'm confused."

"It means that the counterattack won't be a surprise to anyone," said Pidge. "But it's where or when the counterattack will happen is the issue."

"Pidge is right," said Shiro. "The Galra just lost a huge chunk of their territory. And we almost escaped by the skin of our teeth. And with Lotor here, they'll have a lot more incentive to crush us. And we still haven't built up the coalition to where we need to be."

"I can guarantee you that my father will launch a counterattacking force that will dwarf and overwhelm any defenses," said Lotor.

"So we're outgunned," Lance began,

"Outmanned," Hunk continued,

"Outnumbered," Pidge added,

"And outplanned," Shiro finished. "We'll have to make an all-out stand."

"But Pidge just said, we don't know where they're going," Hunk bemoaned.

"We can handle that," said Matt. "Besides, we can always use the Galra Finger to track troop movements."

"That doesn't quite tell us where they're going," said Lance.

"And we can assist in that," said Kolivan.

"Does this mean Keith is staying with you?" Allura asked.

"Only if he desires so," Kolivan answered. "My understanding was that he had no intention of permanently staying with us."

Keith was surprised, to say the least, although he had to admit that it was a logical conclusion.

"But if it means that much to you, I suppose I can discharge him back into your care."

"Seriously, Kolivan!?" Keith's question took everyone off guard. They looked around for the source of the sound until Keith re-materialized behind Kolivan's chair. "After everything I've done for the Blade!?"

"Keith!?" Lance cried.

"KEITH!" Hunk jumped out of his chair, tears in his eyes, and lunged for Keith. He pulled the former Paladin into a tight, almost-bone-crushing hug, even lifting him off the ground. "WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" he bawled.

Keith didn't want to, but he chuckled. "Thanks, Hunk."

"When did you get back!?" Pidge asked.

"After the Naxzela battle," he answered. "Hunk, can you let me down?"

"Oh. Sorry. By the way, do you need anything? I can make you some green goo filet mignon!"

"Uh, no thanks, Hunk."

"KEITH!" Pidge also cried, jumping to hug him, but almost knocking him over. "… You smell bad."

It occurred to Keith that he was still in his Blade of Marmora suit, and he probably hadn't showered in a while. "Yeah, um, sorry about that."

"Who cares!? It's good to have you back!"

"Welcome back, Keith," Shiro added.

"Thanks, Shiro."

But then Keith looked at Lance. The Blue Paladin was glaring at him through half-lidded eyes, but turned away to focus back on Shiro. Keith also glared at him, and it was obvious what their respective glances meant.

"Guys, let's focus," Shiro announced. "We have a real problem on our hands."

"Yeah, we do," said Lance, "Keith showing back up right now."

"Lance, drop it," said Shiro.

Lance kept glaring at Keith, but then turned away from him. It seemed to bother Keith, at least just a little bit.

"And, in case you are wondering, this is the  _real_ Keith," said Coran. "Any questions?"

The other guests were silent. Not in an awkward or angry silent, but just silent.

"I'll take that as a no," Coran grumbled.

"Sorry, but it looks like we'll have to have an internal Team Voltron discussion," said Shiro. "Since we're already docked at Olkaria, you can all leave."

The other diplomats stood up and left the room. No one else noticed it, but Kolivan tapped Coran's shoulder and made a gesture with his hand. Coran looked back to the other Paladins. "I think I'll step outside," he said. "I have some other things to do." He awkwardly lingered before stepping outside.

Once outside, Coran followed Kolivan to a spot where he was sure no one was listening in. "I need you to keep Keith on this ship," he said. "That is a request."

"I'm sure Allura will be happy about that," said Coran, "But why?"

"He needs to keep surveillance on Lotor," said Kolivan. "I do not trust him."

"Neither do I," Coran murmured. "But that can't be the only reason."

"Have you noticed anything strange about Shiro since he returned?" Kolivan asked.

Coran turned around, looking at the dining room's door. After contemplating Kolivan's question, he turned back to him. "He does seem a little… 'off'."

"I suspect we will need to monitor him," Kolivan continued. "There is something wrong with him. He does not smell like the Shiro I first met."

This made Coran turn around and look at the door to dining room. Coran had been wondering just how Shiro looked subtly different from when they first met him, but he'd just chalked it up to Shiro's new haircut.

"Keith knows him better than anyone," Kolivan continued. "I remember he talked about him when he was able to."

"I can only imagine how lonely he was," said Coran. "I never wanted him to leave, after he was making such good progress with the team. I feel like he regressed."

"I will take your word for it," Kolivan replied.

"We'll keep an eye on Shiro," said Coran, "And Lotor. "Don't worry, I have eyes like a bat-hawk!" he opened both eyes so wide that Kolivan could see the blood vessels.

Kolivan sighed. "I will make the order. And by the way, I agree that the Blade is not the right place for him. I fear for his mental state."

"Agreed," Coran replied.

The dining room door opened. The Paladins left the room, leading Lotor away from the room. Keith walked out shortly after, and Coran could see the glimmers of a smile. It made him smile.

"Keith!" Kolivan announced. Keith turned to Kolivan. "Stay on the castle so you may monitor Lotor. That's an order."

Keith looked away, and then looked back to Kolivan, and to Coran's dismay, answered robotically, "Mission accepted." He walked away.

"We have some work to do with him," said Coran.

"We all have some work to do," said Kolivan.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End chapter
> 
> Okay, so I really want to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. The biggest reason is because the last month or so has been really busy for me, what with Thanksgiving and work—I had a very busy work schedule, which made it super hard to write this. Also, I feel like this story's been getting repetitive—Keith gets confronted, Keith and Allura meet, Keith doesn't know what to do—so from now on, I'm going to try to get this story off the ground.
> 
> Nothing's changed in terms of planning, however. Things are still going the way I want it to, and I expect more to get done. I hope you guys can have patience with me! Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	6. You’ve Got a Hunger

Lotor's fighter was parked in the middle of the Castle's main, non-lion hangar, right next to the Galra fighter Keith had stolen. So it was rather awkward, at least from Keith's perspective, to watch Lotor work on his fighter—the very one that nearly killed him and his comrades—right beside him. Even while sitting in the Galra fighter's cockpit, Keith couldn't stop himself from turning to watch Lotor.

He'd chased him for months, along with tracking that quintessence supply line. Now that much more "important" things were on the docket, that mission was unnecessary. At least that's what the Marmorans told him when he asked why he had to stay on the Castle ship. Kolivan's order to monitor Lotor had taken him by surprise, although he didn't quite question it. He was a good Marmoran who followed orders, and was going to see this mission to the end.

And yet...

There were several issues on his mind right now, all of which competed for dominance in his thoughts. He wanted to stay on the Castle. He also didn't want to be useless. He wanted to go back to the Blade. He also didn't like how cold everyone was.

He didn't quite have this dilemma before. Before Voltron, he was just some kid at the Garrison; a talented kid who was top of his fighter pilot class, of course. And then he got kicked out after Shiro disappeared. Hearing Pidge's story about her brother and father reminded him about how he reacted when Shiro disappeared. He too insisted that there was no way Shiro could make a fatal error when he was himself a top Garrison graduate. So naturally he was relieved to find Shiro had returned, but also a bit confused. But his stubborn refusal to accept the Garrison's story about the Kerberos Mission wasn't what got him kicked out. No, that was something else.

And then after the Garrison, he was just some loner kid trying to find out what he was going to do next. That was a different dilemma, before he found himself drawn out into the middle of the desert, to that old shack. It was there that, lost in his own confusion, he discovered the Fraunhofer lines and went to work. Since he was alone for most of his life, growing up in Big Spring, Texas, in what was once the heart of the Comancheria. So he drew from those old days, remembering how his dad often talked about how the Comanche lived.

He did know actual Native Americans, and none of them were mystical, nature-connected stereotypes, but actual people. In fact, his pre-Garrison 8th grade homeroom teacher was Comanche himself, and often railed against those stereotypes, because he'd been born and raised in Big Spring, an urban Indian, and because they were just as, if not more dehumanizing than the "savage killer" stereotype of John Wayne movies. He remembered he was also super-stressed all the time, and overheard him complaining about some of the students once. Not him, of course.

He shook his head, remembering what he was supposed to be thinking about. Right. Fraunhofer lines. Wait, where was he going?

Right. Then Shiro crash-landed near the Garrison, near his house, and he ran into Lance, Pidge and Hunk, and... this whole space adventure happened. He never expected to pilot a millennia-old robot cat, face off against a universal tyrant, discover magical/mystical energy sources, discover his true heritage, become a leader and join a millennia-old resistance movement. And nearly died several times over. And suffered a mental breakdown not long after the latest one.

But it felt different this time. He rarely talked to kids at school, preferring to sit alone at lunch or play on the swings. He was really only friendly with Shiro, because unlike other kids, Shiro knew a lot of what Keith was going through, having been raised by his grandparents. And since his own dad split, full of it, debt-ridden after his mother left him, he had no one else but Shiro. It already hurt the first time that he disappeared. The second time nearly threw him into despair. But being all but forced out of the team, by Shiro, hurt considerably, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

But it wasn't just Shiro this time. All those aforementioned adventures helped him bond with the team. And Allura pointed out that they'd become a family.

And so while he assumed that the reason he never quite fit in with the Blade, despite doing his best to become the cold, lonesome assassin persona of the average Blade member. But he was surrounded by multitudes of these experienced assassins, and he was just the rookie. He did his best to fit in, but now he felt that his efforts were futile, all but ejected from the Blade for an important mission. He did appreciate the mission, but as he stared at Lotor, doubt crept into his thoughts. He doubted that Kolivan really appreciated his service to the cause, even though he'd taken his lessons to heart. And he doubted that he could ever be a part of Voltron again.

He also just so happened to look up to find Lotor staring at him. Something about Lotor made him uncomfortable. Or at least there was no way he could trust him. He'd spent several months chasing Lotor around the galaxy, even during his mission. Why did he show up right now of all times? Lotor's story was that his generals betrayed him to save their hides with the Empire, and that he was wanted. He sort of believed that. It made him admit that he was relieved to be back on the castle, so he could monitor him.

And he hated how repetitive his thinking was getting.

He looked over at Lotor again, and was surprised to see Lotor grinning at him. Keith narrowed his eyes, drawing an almost derisive chuckle from Lotor. "Come on, that's no way to thank your savior," he said.

Keith assumed that he was talking about saving the whole resistance, so he said nothing.

"I didn't say anything," Keith replied. "And I don't want to say anything to you."

This did not please Lotor. Frowning, he kept his disapproving gaze on Keith before returning to his own work.

But, he chuckled. "You still do not trust me," he observed. Keith didn't answer. "I shall take that as a 'yes'."

"Pass me that screwdriver-like… thing," Keith continued without so much as looking up from his instrument panel.

"Are you listening to me?"

"What?"

It immediately dawned on Lotor that Keith really was ignoring him. Not that he was entitled to Keith's attention, of course. But the young human intrigued him. Sure, Allura had played him in the Voltron Show, but this was the first time he'd met him. It was also a little evident that although this was the first time they met face-to-face, this might not be their first actual meeting. He tried to think of the possible times they met before, but got nowhere. He tried to think. He heard that Keith was an aggressive fighter who often didn't think ahead—now he remembered.

That first battle with Voltron; the aggressive Black Lion pilot who nearly got himself and his comrades killed.

"Now I remember you," he said. "We've met before."

His announcement seemed to work. Keith stopped what he was doing and looked over at him, his face expressionless. Lotor grinned, though. "You flew the Black Lion, didn't you?"

"Only because Shiro wasn't able to," Keith retorted.

"I heard about that," said Lotor. "I'm glad he's back."

"I know," Keith answered.

"But I didn't see you in the Voltron Show. Where were you?"

"None of your business," Keith replied. His voice was getting close to a growl.

Lotor knew he needed to back off. He was trying to earn their trust, or else his long-term plan wasn't going to work.

"My apologies," he replied.

Keith looked up and glared at Lotor. "My mission is to make sure you stay out of trouble."

"Your 'mission',"Lotor said, not quite as a question, but just as much a sort of mocking statement. "You sound like the perfect Blade member, like the one who almost killed himself—" Lotor stopped and raised his head up while keeping his gaze on Keith. It made Keith even more uncomfortable. "That was you, wasn't it? You were about to save the Day in a fiery explosion. Too bad your sacrifice would have been in vain."

"SHUT UP!"

Lotor raised his hands. "I apologize. It must have been a very emotional moment."

Keith narrowed his eyes to glare at Lotor. But as Lotor had correctly concluded, he wasn't going to leave Lotor alone for a minute. With no other option, he remained in the fighter, continuing to work on it without speaking to Lotor. This was fine, he told himself, it was a mission.

But he was also finished with the work he had to do on his fighter, but, Lotor wasn't done working on his. As badly as he wanted to go to the training deck, where he hadn't been in months, the only way he'd ever feel comfortable with Lotor on the ship would be if he were still locked up in the brig. Lotor was dangerous. Keith sat down on a box near Lotor's fighter and began cleaning off his ceremonial Marmora blade; the one that got this whole mess started in the first place. He had to remind himself not to let the knife distract him, so he looked up at Lotor still sitting in his cockpit, adjusting the instruments.

"Would you like to be my co-pilot?" Lotor asked. "I could use a gunner."

Keith didn't treat his question as a surprise. Lotor was obviously trying to make small talk. "I'll think about it," he replied.

"Suit yourself," Lotor shrugged.

Keith heard the door slam open. Turning around, he could see Coran walking in, followed by Lance. Keith could tell that Lance was in a bad mood just from his posture; hunched over with his hands in his pockets and stiffly walking behind Coran's perfect posture. It was hard to tell if Coran knew Lance was in a rotten mood, but Keith knew almost for certain that Coran knew Lance was in a bad mood, and didn't care a bit. Keith didn't care, either. He went back to cleaning his blade off like it was filthy.

"How's everything going, gentlemen?" Coran cheerfully asked. No one answered. "I see things are going well."

"Come on, Coran," Lance interjected. "No one cares. Especially not Keith. He's a Marmoran now."

Keith turned and glared at Lance. Coran stepped between both of them. "Now, now, let's not get testy, here," Coran scolded. "I just wanted to see how everyone's doing."

"At least I don't have to do the Voltron Show," said Keith.

"I said not to start anything," said Coran. "Besides, we're here to relieve Keith of his guard for today."

"You want me to do it?" Lance asked.

"No, we're just taking Lotor back to his cell," Coran answered.

Keith was visibly relieved, much to Lotor's unhappiness.

"Are you absolutely positive that you need to watch me every single tick of the quintant?" Lotor asked as Coran handcuffed him. "I'm incredibly outgunned. You have Voltron. I just have one fighter. You have an entire coalition, a network of underground resistance groups, and the Blade of Marmora at your disposal."

"You have a mouth," said Lance. Keith sniggered. Even he had to find that funny—and he didn't find Lance funny at all.

Keith's sniggering caught Lance's attention. Before all this, Lance would be thrilled to see Keith actually laughing at his jokes, but not this time. This time it looked like he was furious to actually see him, which he found to be more unnerving than he expected for this situation.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"Because of the operation on Naxzela, we unfortunately have lost the trail on the quintessence supply line," Kolivan told Princess Allura, Coran and Shiro. "Such is the risk of course, but this is a bad setback for the resistance."

"I understand," Allura said to the big holographic screen showing Kolivan. "I'm sorry."

"I already said that this is a risk we run," said Kolivan. "I will not hold it against you. In the meantime, we intend to continue our normal operations. We also have operatives inside the Empire's military, so we should be able to gather information on the possible counterattack."

"Will you be needing Keith?" Shiro asked. He briefly looked to see Allura subtly flinch at his question.

"Not right now," Kolivan answered. "If we need him, we can call him."

"Thank you," said Shiro.

"Thank you for the update," said Allura. Kolivan's image turned off the big screen. Allura sighed, oblivious to Shiro's staring at her.

"Are you alright, Princess?" He asked.

"I'm a bit stressed, but otherwise fine," she answered.

"I saw you get upset when I asked about Keith," Shiro continued. "Don't you think it's good that he gets to do something?"

"Coran, do we have any other updates?" Allura asked.

"Not really," he answered. "We're done with the Voltron Show, so nothing on that end."

"Thank you, Coran," Allura sighed.

"Princess, why did you ignore me?" Shiro asked.

"Shiro, have you spoken to Keith since he returned?" Coran asked.

"Besides when he returned? I haven't. I haven't seen him except when I've given him things to do."

"You should talk to him," said Coran. "He's your brother, right?"

"Not really," Shiro answered. "More like a brother figure."

"Good enough."

"What Coran is saying is, you should talk to him," said Allura. "I think he just needs you to be there for him."

Shiro immediately felt guilty for not being there for Keith. He'd actually felt guilty for letting Keith leave for the Blade of Marmora, and he should have done more to convince him to stay with Voltron. But it was Keith's decision, and Shiro respected that, considering that Keith would not change his mind on the subject. He wanted Keith to lead, and it felt wrong to take the Black Lion back after Keith had done so much to bond with Black. He considered offering Keith a chance to take Black back if he was interested, but since Coran and Allura wanted him to talk to Keith, it would have to wait. Forcing Keith into taking Black (but not by choice) had backfired. He knew Keith had amazing leadership potential. He'd seen it often when he was Keith's instructor at the Garrison, and saw flashes of it early on with Voltron. But Keith had his own issues. And they weren't going to go away easily.

"Sounds like a plan," said Shiro. "Do you know where he is?"

"I think he went back to the kitchen after I escorted Lotor back to his cell," said Coran.

"I guess I'll see if he's still there," Shiro said before leaving the bridge. As he watched him depart, Coran heard Allura loudly sigh in relief.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith didn't know how much he missed the green goo. And if there was one thing from the Blade that he wouldn't miss, it would be the food. In fact, to call it 'food' would be insulting to food. And to call it inedible would be insulting to rocks. He'd already thought that the Garrison made terrible food (no wonder Hunk was such a good cook, he had to eat that stuff!), but the Blade's "food" made the Garrison's slop look edible. He wouldn't insult that stuff anymore. He also mentally apologized to his dad. Before he'd abandoned him (which was still very unforgivable), he'd done his best to make dinner for Keith. It wasn't very good, but it did get better. And then his dad abandoned him.

Keith cursed himself for making himself remember that.

He sat on a counter, watching Hunk making some cake. "I'll bet you missed this stuff," Hunk said.

"Absolutely," Keith chuckled.

"Lemme guess, the food was barely edible," Hunk continued.

"Very."

"Good thing you're back, buddy." Hunk returned to his food preparation, and telling the story of the mission leading up to the Battle of Naxzela. "So anyway, these robots are coming up to Pidge, and she didn't have time to beat them, so I was all like, POW! PEOPLE'S ELBOW!" He brought his elbow down on an invisible opponent, just like he did then. "Now I wish I was all 'IF YA SMEEEEEELLLLLLLALALALALA WHAT THE HUNK! IS! COOKIN'!' man, that would've been AWESOME!"

"Wish I could've seen it," said Keith. "Wish I could've seen the Voltron Show more."

"Yeah, I guess everyone's told ya about that by now," Hunk said, waving his hand. "So what was the Blade like, anyway?"

Keith's mood immediately soured. Having learned his lesson from a previous awkward moment, Hunk immediately tried to backtrack. "I-I-I-I mean, if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine! I don't wanna like, make you feel bad or anything!"

"Thanks, Hunk," Keith said with a sad smile.

"So, uh, Lotor—kinda surprised he showed up. Yeah, really surprised."

"Yeah," Keith said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, that's why you're here, I guess." Hunk's voice turned downcast. "I guess you could bond over your Galra-ness—"

"HUNK."

"RIGHT! Sorry! Didn't mean it! Not all Galra, right?"

"Hunk, quit diggin' yourself deeper."

"Okay, okay. But, you're happy to see him, right?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, I'm not. I don't care that he saved us. Something's up."

"Oh... of course. Sorry!"

"Keith!"

Keith was relieved to hear Shiro in more than one way. Yes, he hadn't talked to Shiro in a while, but this conversation with Hunk was getting a bit too awkward for his comfort. Jumping off the counter, he turned around to face the oncoming Shiro, to Hunk's disappointment. The big guy didn't walk out of the room, though. He just went on with cake prep.

"How are you feeling, Keith?" Shiro asked as he walked up to him.

"I'm feeling... a little better," Keith answered.

"That's good. I've been kind of worried about you, ever since I heard about what you almost did."

"I had to do it," Keith insisted.

"But you almost killed yourself," said Shiro. He looked ready to blow at Keith. But then he took a deep breath, sighed and calmed down. "BUT, I'm glad you're alright."

"Thanks," said Keith. He was also ready to blow up. But he also calmed down. Hunk was the most relieved person here.

"I don't know what I would do to myself if I found out you killed yourself. If there's anything you need, don't be afraid to tell me. And... I'm sorry for forcing you out of Voltron."

"It's okay," said Keith. "I'll lay down my life if it sets us free."

"It's alright you want to fight, you've got a hunger," said Shiro, "Head full of fantasies of dying like a martyr. I was just like you when I was younger.

"But listen when I say this; Dying is easy. But living's harder."

"So I shouldn't have done anything!?" Keith asked, his voice starting to rise.

"That's not it," Shiro answered. "We need you alive. I need you alive. I already know you have great leadership potential. And I'm sorry we didn't give you enough of a chance to grow as one. If-and-or whenever you're ready, you can fly the Black Lion again."

"I'll find something else to do," said Keith.

"That's alright," said Shiro. He patted Keith's shoulder. Keith wanted to tell him about the zombie world dream, and that he re-bonded with Black. But, he got nervous when he tried to build up the courage to do so, so the question died in the back of his mouth. "How about you get a milkshake?"

"That sounds good," said Keith.

Shiro smiled, turned and left. Keith sighed and leaned against the counter when he felt Hunk leaning into his ear. He almost jumped when he felt Hunk's breath tickle his ears. "By the way, Lance thinks Shiro's been acting a bit off lately," Hunk whispered.

"Wait what?! That doesn't make any sense," Keith grumbled.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Okay, so... I deeply and sincerely apologize for how long this took me to write and publish. I've been really busy with work, moving into a new house, and General writer's block. The latter was the worst. I've got a lot of works that have been neglected because of that writer's block, unfortunately. Even my NaruSaku fic, "What Went Wrong for Us", has suffered. Here, in this particular work, I had trouble moving past the first passage, so I just decided to end it and move on. I also found a hard time figuring out which Hamilton lyrics to use, until I settled on the ones you see near the end.

Nothing's changed in terms of plot, unless I feel something does need to change. Until then, I expect things to go as smoothly as possible, but I can't guarantee it. Writer's block is a bitch.

But I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think, please!


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